The King Edition, Volume IV

So I've done three of these previously. I thought the first two were pretty good. The third, not so much. I honestly haven't looked at it, nor do I plan to. I may not think it's that bad, I may think it's even worse than I originally thought. My comparatively negative opinion of that third piece is what gives me the inspiration to (hopefully) make this fourth edition better.

(Ed. note: I looked at last year's edition. It wasn't that bad.)

Truth and Te'o

I’m a Miami fan, and I hate Notre Dame. I have no love for anything Notre Dame besides Skylar Diggins. I have surely had my fun from making jokes about this Manti Te’o situation. Even as someone who has been in a “catfish” situation, I laughed about it for almost an entire day.

Strange thing happened, though: I began to feel sorry for Te’o. Maybe it’s because I’m a Cancer. Maybe it’s the social work degree. It’s not because I’ve been in a “catfish” situation. Maybe I’m just more compassionate than I choose – or would like to believe – I am. There’s just something really wrong with this picture.
 

The Best Soundtrack of All Time

The question came across Twitter recently, and I figured my answer was worthy of an explanation.

“What is the best movie soundtrack of all time?”

Not sure if that was the exact wording, but it’s close enough.

You ask a lot of people, you’re going to get a lot of different answers. Some people will say Saturday Night Fever. Some will say The Bodyguard. Some will say Boomerang. Some will say Purple Rain. Some will say New Jersey Drive (with very good reason: it’s #2 to me). I thought Boyz N The Hood, CB4, and Poetic Justice all had their highlights. However, none of these soundtracks is at the top of the list.

Five Points of Light

Finally back...went home for the holidays, which threw off my schedule as I usually write at work. Anyway, let's get to it: this one is about five women whose presence in my life - whether past or present - I really appreciate. I'm not related to them, and I've never dated any of them (nor will I). Not going to name them or disclose any info about how I know them, as a couple of them might be embarrassed - although they may figure out who they are upon reading.

 ---

I'm thoroughly convinced one of them doesn't know how great she is. Don't get me wrong: she knows she's great. She'd admit it if she absolutely had to. I think, though; if someone sat her down - and no, I'm not volunteering - and just went through her accomplishments, achievements, and attributes one by one...she'd probably be surprised at the realization of all the parts that make up a wonderful sum.

One of them, I'm pretty sure she knows...she won't tell you she knows, but she does. She doesn't say how great she is, but that's because she's too busy showing people. Whoever misses it, that's on them. She's consistent, but not boring. She's fun, but not silly. She's direct, but not confrontational. One of the best things about her greatness? The fact that she's so good at handling it.

One of them is definitely smart, driven, focused...but she's here because she's quite possibly the sweetest and most positive person I'll ever meet in life. If you ever have a conversation with her and don't leave with a smile, you need to re-evaluate some things. She's that ray of sunshine that never goes out. The world needs more people like her, but there could be a million and she'd still be special.

One is just amazing, in every sense of the word. How someone can be so "eclectically mesmerizing" is beyond me. She's actually a lot like one of the other women in here, but is different enough that she stands completely on her own. She's also different enough from me in that she's challenged me in a unique way and helped me find the best of myself - something for which I will be forever grateful.

One is simply a joy to be around. There isn't a positive adjective in the English language that doesn't apply to her. Much as I like the other four, she's probably the most personable - and probably puts a smile on my face first, ceteris paribus. She also has that 'je ne sais quoi' - I can't really say why she's in here as easily as I can with the others, I just know that she's here - and should be.

 ---

One of the strange things I've noticed while writing this is that the descriptions are so interchangeable. Any of them could describe any of the women mentioned, at least loosely. None of them would ever be confused for each other (for a myriad of reasons), but they are all truly special people - and I feel honored that I know them all.

Cuffing Season vs. Non-Dating Season

Everyone knows what cuffing season is, so I won't explain that. Not everyone may know what Non-Dating Season is, but it will make perfect sense in a minute. Non-Dating Season is the three-month period from November 15-February 15 in which it is folly for people - especially men - to start new relationships. These seasons obviously clash. Let's take a look at them.

The Color Me Badd Appreciation Post

Recently, I have been subject to Color Me Badd libel - from multiple sources. This I cannot have without speaking. So, here is - well - me speaking.

The Day It Got Real

I woke up this morning, thinking it would be just a regular Monday. The only departures I saw were that it’s the last Monday before I go home for Christmas vacation and that work would be a little busier because everyone would try to get things done before the holiday. Well…let’s just say I wouldn’t be writing this if I were right.

Hood Ornaments

No, this isn’t about the holidays.

What is it about, then?

Read on.

Happy Anniversary

I was originally going to post something else today (it's already written), but today is an anniversary of sorts for me. It's a strange one, and it harkens back to this.

Holiday Matters II

Ran down a couple things I don’t really care for when it comes to the holidays. In the interest of fairness, I think it’s a good idea if I talk about a few things I do care for as well.

My Five Favorite Sitcoms Of All Time

I’ve been known to watch a lot of TV, although now I watch mostly sports-related programming. I used to watch a lot of sitcoms, though. Here are my five favorites.

 

Why I Would Marry Me

Was answering a bunch of questions on Twitter (@OigoLasVoces, if anyone out there cares but doesn’t already know) and one was particularly interesting.

You can probably tell what it was – well, you’d be pretty close – by the title (question was whether you would date you). Of course I’d date me…as the title also indicated. Why?

Holiday Matters

As we all know, the holiday season is fast approaching. Allow me a little bit of time (really, this one will be short) to talk about two fairly recent holiday traditions that I’m not too enthused about.

Before The Rings, Here Are Some Things

Now, as y’all know; I have no plans for marriage. I’ve talked about the reasons before, so no need to re-hash (at least not right now). That said, a FB post helped me come up with this topic. There are certain things that people don’t discuss before deciding to tie the knot. Here are a few of those.

DM Etiquette

DM behavior seems to be all the rage on Twitter right now. I mentioned yesterday that I don’t partake in the exercise. Since I can’t fit the reasons in 140 characters, here we go.

A Look At Some Election Data

So, like the political nerd/junkie I am, I decided to look at this NY Times election data. If you have time, I suggest you do so too. Anyway, here are some of the more interesting findings:

The county in Florida with the highest % of voters casting a ballot for President Obama was…

Finding My Politics = Losing My Appetite

As you all know by now, I’m not a fan of big business for many reasons. Going to talk about two in particular right now. You already know which two, so let’s get to it.

My issue with the public stances taken by Papa John’s and Applebee’s isn’t their stance toward the ACA. Shoot, anyone in the country can be stupid. Half the country is plain idiotic in their political thinking. That is only a crime against intelligence (transgressions of such nature, I feel should be prosecuted…but that’s another matter). My real issue is the ‘public’ part…and I just read that Darden is on that list too.

Is it me, or are these just places I don’t really care for anyway?

The Greatest Homecoming Week Ever

(Ed. Note: I’ve noticed that I have a lot more ideas than I do actual entries...for instance, I thought up four and there’s no way I’m going to go once a week and get them all out in a timely manner. Because of that, I’ll say this: there will be at least one entry every week. If there are more, there just are. Thanks.)

So, last week might have been one of the best weeks ever. Matter of fact, I think the only real competition is my birthday week from last year – which I think I already wrote about. There were two things that made last week one to remember: everyone knows about one of them, and we all like it unless we’re Republicans.

This, of course, will be about the other thing.

FAMU’s homecoming was last week, and I decided Tuesday that I would live it up for the entire week since I fully expect to be a resident of another locale by the time next year’s festivities come around. I could do a chronological rundown, but that would be boring. Instead, I’m going to rank the days from “worst” to best.

My Post-Election Rant

Alright, this is going to be a bit more…what’s the word I’m looking for here…”ornery” than most of my offerings.

Basically, I’m just offering up general thoughts on the elections and on politics in general. 

A Great Dating Article (And My Silly Comments)

Mandy Stadtmiller is a really great writer. She’s also not a bad-looking woman. Anyway, I found out who she was through the wonderful world of Twitter maybe a year ago; and recently saw that the article I’m about to comment on getting retweeted quite a lot. If you’re a woman, you could do a lot worse things than put her in your reading rotation. I only directed that toward the ladies because she mostly writes for the ladies. This one here was an exception.

By the way, please read her whole piece here. It is far more entertaining than this will be (the link at the end of her commentary on #3 alone is worth it). I’m just listing the points (unless it’s necessary to include more, like with #2) and then saying what I think in italics.

A Perspective on Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry is a hero to parts of the black community, and the scourge of the earth to others (hello, Shorty New York). I'm going to leave my general...well, let me not say that. If I go on a rant about Tyler Perry haters - and the overlap between them and those who hate southern rap, et al - then I just do.

The one thing I'll say for now: funny how TP haters were saying "all he does is Madea: he needs to branch out" and so on...and then people found out he was playing Alex Cross and it's "he can't play Alex Cross: he needs to stick to the Madea stuff". He can't win for losing, and that says more about the haters than it does about Perry.

I haven't seen any of Perry's stage plays (actually, I saw parts of "What's Done In The Dark" at a cousin's house; but not enough to remember anything), but I have seen most of his movies. The crux of this post will be a retrospective on those films, and it will start now.

No Friend Zones Over Here

So, there’s this thing called the “friend zone”. I’ll assume that y’all know what it is. If you don’t, I’ll assume you can figure it out from the context. I have figured out within the past year or so that (with one possible exception) I will never be in the friend zone…or have one myself. I don’t want to make this too long (quiet, regular readers), but we shall see.

Favorite Songs of the Millennium (by year)

After this week, I'll get back to a weekly posting schedule. For now, though; a "music Monday" offering...

First, I'm using the actual millennium and not what most people seem to recognize. In other words, I'm starting in 2001. Second, as is mentioned in the title; this is going to go by year. Best song in one year might not have made the top 5 in another year (2001, for example, had a lot of great songs). Now that that's out of the way, let's go.

Why Twitter Is Better Than Facebook

This might be the first original thing (non-football) that I’ve written in two months. As such, let’s not have a delay.

1. People do things such as liking their own statuses (stati?) on Facebook.

May as well start with the tweet I wrote that inspired this piece. Can it get any more lame – and I don’t even say ‘lame’, which shows how lame it really is – than that? One would hope you like your own statuses and comments since you wrote them. That shouldn’t even be allowed. You can’t be your own friend on Facebook. Why should you be allowed to like your own stuff? It makes no sense. Mark Z. should have allowed for dislikes first…oddly enough, I did write about the value of a dislike button here.

2. My parents are on Facebook.

I swore this wouldn’t matter to me. Up and down: I was going to talk about everything in the same irreverent manner that I did before we became friends. Sigh. I forgot how much I used to talk about things I’d rather not discuss with them. There’s also the fact that they’ve given me reason to be wary: my mom got mad at me because I said something anti-FSU (which for me is almost natural) and my dad got mad at me for saying I was in Atlanta (the idea was that someone was going to rob me, even though only one person knows where I live and he didn’t know I was out of town until he called me the next day). I still talk about sports and politics on Facebook, but that’s it. I leave the personal stuff to Twitter, and that segues very well into #3.

3. “On Facebook, you lie to people you do know. On Twitter, you tell the truth to people you don’t know.”

One of my best friends told me this, and it’s true. Now, I’m not a liar. I tell the truth to a fault (ask my ex-girlfriends if you must). Shoot, the times I’ve “gotten in trouble” on Facebook have resulted from telling inconvenient truths. Fact of the matter is there are some truths that not everyone needs to know. Guess what? Lots of people know – and have room to judge – on Facebook. Twitter? Not so much. People respect you enough to not try you on Twitter, but they care enough to try to be helpful. Guess that leads to the next one.

4. I hardly know any of my Twitter peoples, as opposed to knowing just about everyone on my Facebook friends list.

I wish I knew more of my Twitter people, so it’s not that. It’s just that people from so many different corners of my life are Facebook friends of mine. Many of them are from stages of my life that I’ve clearly passed: high school, undergrad, even grad school to a certain extent. I’m not saying I’ve passed them by or anything close: what I am saying is that I’ve passed the stage of evolution at which they’ve seen me. I would say 90 percent of my Facebook friends see me as a person who I’m simply not anymore. It’s not their fault, but the interaction isn’t quite the same since there are different conversations going on at some level. The person they’re “talking to” is different than the person who replies. Sigh.

5. Facebook and Twitter have different functions, and I’m more interested in Twitter’s set.

This kind-of takes from #s 3 and 4, but it is what it is. Facebook helps you catch up with people you do know, and your network expands accordingly. All of my Facebook friends fit one of three descriptions: people I’ve known for five years, people who are friends with people I’ve known for five years, and people I know from College Town. That’s it. As you can see, there’s not much room for growth there. Twitter, on the other hand? Well, there are people from VSB (and connected people). There are people I know from CJ’s radio show (and connected people). There are, of course, people I knew beforehand. I also know people from talking about wrestling and the Hurricanes. Of course, Twitter also has a much more open process of network expansion.

---

Now I’m at the point where the only times I’m on Facebook are when I publish notes and to read/answer the Joe Paul questions (subscribe to Joe and read his posts: well worth it). Twitter, though? I’m there for pretty much every waking moment. I can express myself more freely, and it’s much more entertaining. There are other reasons as well, but this has been long enough.

A Bean & A Beanpole

Kevin and Kobe. Kobe and Kevin.

They’re similar in a few ways. They’re obviously both stars. They both jumped from high school to the NBA. Both have won an MVP award. Both have won championships (it’s 5-1 in favor of the Black Mamba, but whatever).

They’re a little different too. They obviously play different positions. One plays on the east coast, the other plays out west. One spent his entire playing career with one team, the other split his career between two franchises.

There’s one thing about them, though, that I think links them. They’re the last two left.

The Dirtiest Secret In Politics

Ed. note: I originally planned on waiting to release this one until closer to the election, but given last night's debate and today's VSB post it made sense to go ahead and get this out.

I'm going to let y'all in on the dirtiest little secret in American politics: something that no one will ever admit to. One political party believes this truth would subjugate it, while the other will never say it because its truth shines a light on the very problem it says doesn't exist.

By the way, I'm going to use the party names here instead of referring to the ideologies. Even though the latter would be more accurate, I'm choosing this particular method of nomenclature for application purposes. It's a pretty simple concept, really. So, here goes:

Tis Better To Have Loved And Lost...

People always talk about how hard it is to get over a relationship. You're with a person, you love them, they love you, and then it just stops.

Of course, if something like that just ends then not only is it a tragic event - it was maybe precipitated by one, which if true serves to double down on the feelings one has to get through and get over.

I'm going to propose an idea, though: that it's harder to get over people who you don't get into a relationship with than it is to get over people you do date.

Standards and Preferences

Ed. note: As you all may have noticed, I've been away for quite a while. Almost three months since I've put an entry out. Lot's happened since then. Stuff is still happening. I didn't stop writing, though. Built up a nice little queue. It'll take a couple weeks to release everything. Here's the first of those 'reserve' entries.

I think I talked about this before, but it seems to bear repeating: there is a difference between standards and preferences. This is especially true when looking for “someone”.

People seem to get these things confused for some reason. Some want to call preferences ‘standards’ when they clearly are not. Can they be called ‘personal standards’? Perhaps. Before we definitively answer that question, let’s create a base.

Thoughts and Actions

I usually don’t talk about myself, but I will say I’m well experienced in the area of thought. I have all the nice little scholastic accolades and the degrees and all that. Y’all have seen me talk about Mensa, and hopefully some of these here entries also show that I’m pretty good at this thought thing (whether you all agree with what I say is another matter altogether).

Here’s one thing I’ve noticed: thought without action means pretty much nothing.

Best Movie Ever?

I try my best to not get my hopes up when it comes to movies. I find it to be the best way to preserve my movie-watching experiences.

There are few things worse than paying 5-10 dollars for a movie ticket and then finding out that the movie is horrible, or even “less than expected”. I have a pretty good record on picking movies, so I don’t go through this often. The times I do get caught up seem to involve my people (Death At A Funeral, most of TP’s recent efforts, even Safe House to a certain extent), but that’s another matter.

I think it’s even more coincidence than comparative analysis that the movies I have lowered expectations for seem to be great.

Campaign Financing: An Alternate POV

I’m hardly an expert on federal politics. The mass majority of my “nuts and bolts” knowledge is on the state level. That said, I know the importance of campaign finances and spending.

How can I not? The president sends me emails about it every day. There is also the fact that I was in a doctoral program and spent much of my first year studying ads, but I digress.

Happy Birthday, Granny

Contrary to what most may believe, the majority of these things are not personal.

This one is.

Today would have been my paternal grandmother’s 100^th birthday. It’s not the easiest thing to talk about, but as many in my family know…talking about Granny since she passed never has been. Matter of fact, I’m going to put the over/under of “times I tear up writing this” at 3.5 - and I may only end up taking the under because I’m writing this at work. Anyway, it’s supposed to be that way. I’m supposed to feel like this. I’m supposed to feel terrible that I’m reduced to writing this note as opposed to being at home with my family. I’m supposed to feel bad that I can’t go to the northwest corner of 19^th and 31^st to put flowers on her grave.

Why am I supposed to feel this way? The reason is simple: I lost more than a grandmother on May 25, 1996. I lost something else too on that day - and so did many other people - but I didn’t realize it until later. First, a little bit on how losing a grandmother was more than enough.

I’m not going to say my grandmother was a perfect person. She certainly wasn’t the grandmother from one of these TV shows (okay, so she somewhat resembled Sophia from ‘The Golden Girls’) who did nothing but bake apple pies and never had a mean bone in her body. She would get with you if she needed to. Wouldn’t think twice about it, either. And woe be unto you if you had it coming from her, whether verbal or physical.

Here’s the thing, though: through all the whuppings - not spankings, whuppings- that she handed out, everyone loved her. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Inside or outside my family, she may be one of a handful of people that I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about. Like I said before, she wasn’t that always-smiling stereotypical grandmother…but it didn’t matter. Everyone loved Granny, and everyone respected Granny.

I haven’t seen Soul Food in a long time, but if I remember the gist of the movie it mirrors my view of my family’s life. The other thing that Granny provided - and that we lost after she passed - was her ability to hold our family together. As most people reading this know, I have a rather large extended family. Group dynamics and simple odds dictate that one large group will eventually turn into multiple smaller groups. Granny kept that from happening. Looking back, I’m not sure how she did it. It’s not like she demanded that we have huge family gatherings every holiday, but we did. She didn’t say to go to this person’s house or that person’s house, but we did. We just found a way to stay together while she was with us…and then things changed.

In full disclosure, I may be magnifying this a bit because Granny’s passing coincided with the time I left for FAMU. Even then, things didn’t quite feel the same when I came home. The family gatherings were smaller. Some people didn’t come around as much. Some relatives only visited with each other. Things just didn’t seem the same. We were a lot more segmented. This has gotten closer to how it used to be, but it’s still not the same. Now it seems that some relatives have either given up or been ex-communicated from their seats at the proverbial table because of past actions or current habits.

In a family, everyone is obviously not going to agree with everything that everyone else does. I don’t agree with a lot of things my family members have done, and I’m sure that quite a few of them don’t agree with a lot of things I’ve done. However, I can’t think of one relative I have who I wouldn’t invite to a gathering and I’d like to think that no one would dissociate with me in such a manner - or at least not be upset if I showed up somewhere with some notice. Nowhere in any definition of ‘family’ have I seen that a single accord in action and belief is a prerequisite. I’ve also never seen where inviting someone to your home is a tacit statement that you condone every single one of their life choices (if that were the case, I’d be welcome in a lot fewer homes than I am now).

That’s what Granny got. She might not have agreed with everything you did…and there was a pretty good chance that she’d voice any disagreement she had…but she didn’t shut you out. That wasn’t in her nature. You’d get talked about like a dog - and if Granny talked about you that way, you most likely deserved it - but she was always happy to have you in her life, the same way everyone was (and still is) happy to have her in theirs.

As is often the case with the younger populace, I failed to appreciate everything that Granny had to offer. I’m not talking about the dollar or two that she gave me for my birthday or Christmas: I cherished those much more than the larger monetary gifts I got from others simply because they were from her. I failed to appreciate her wisdom, her experience, her loving heart, her ability to keep the family together…until it was too late. When I got to high school and especially when I started driving, my parents would ask me to go to her house…but I didn’t go nearly often enough. Sixteen years later, I still haven’t forgiven myself for those decisions. I’m not sure I ever will.

Maybe that guilt has something to do with why I still have a TV in my apartment that hasn’t worked all that well for a year and a half (it was given to me after she passed). Maybe it’s the appreciation that I have now that leaves me almost sick with myself for being able to do nothing more than write a lousy note to commemorate what would have been her 100^th birthday. Maybe that’s why I hold on so close to the memories that I do have. Maybe that’s why I’m on occurrence #6 - first full paragraph, in case anyone forgot. Maybe it’s a big part of the reason why I want to move back home, and why money matters less with each passing day. Maybe that’s why I tell everyone I can to spend every minute possible with their grandparents and older relatives, to seize the opportunities that I didn’t.

Or maybe that last paragraph has nothing to do with guilt. Maybe I’m just someone who loves and misses his grandmother. Maybe I wish I could hear her talk about working in a pizza parlor while hating pizza. Maybe I wish I could hear her call one of my cousins by a name that no one else ever dared use. Maybe I miss the way she always made me feel better while I was sick. Maybe I miss the mango tree in her yard. Maybe I miss Libra. Maybe I just miss having the chance to say…

…happy birthday, Granny.

Raising The Bar

As we put another Father’s Day in the rearview mirror, it’s time to look at how we men choose who we want to be fathers with. Some of us do great jobs regarding the selection process. Some of us do not. Those of us who don’t do such a great job end up paying for it - literally and figuratively - for a long time. For those of us who have avoided the pitfall (or just don’t want to experience it again), how do we avoid it?

It’s really simple: tighten up the selection process and raise the bar.

Follows, Friends, and Father's Day

Earlier this week I said I was going to unfollow/unfriend anyone who used Sunday to man-bash. I meant it. Still mean it. Here are a few reasons for that.

News Flash: Women Are People Too

We men are funny people sometimes.

One of our biggest issues is that we tend to objectify women.

Before y'all think I'm applying for a job at NOW, let me explain this.

Why Brent Musburger Should Not Apologize

Alright, so there's a HuffPost article in which the author is mad at - and demanding an apology from - Brent Musburger for referring to Tommie Smith and Juan Carlos as "black-skinned storm troopers" in an article.

Ease back: I'm not going to defend Musburger's comment. Instead I'm going to rationalize it using four statements.

The South Shall Rise Again (But It's Already Above The North)

I’ve been meaning to go in on something for a really long time. Some of y’all won’t like this, but some of y’all will. Anyway, long intros are becoming less my thing…so let’s get to it.

Some of y’all slay me on these social networks talking about how the north (or ‘east coast’, if so inclined) is so much better than everywhere else. I don’t know who lied to y’all, but someone apparently did. This whole “slow country bumpkin” nonsense needs to quit.

A Bad Boy And A Scholar(ship)

So the world is abuzz about Justin Combs - Diddy’s son: you know, the one with the restaurant named after him - getting a scholarship at UCLA. Apparently some people have an issue with it since pops throws around money like it burns in his hands.

Why We Cry When Musicians Die

I remember someone asking the question on Facebook of why people get all out of sorts when musicians die. "You didn't know Tupac. You didn't go to school with Aaliyah. Why does it matter so much to you?"

The answer, as I explained in a reply on the friend's post where I saw it, is simple.

Get Over Yourself Day

We have all these holidays, probably more than we need. Some are religious, some are patriotic, some are man-made. Many have been commercialized beyond repair. I still don’t get why we get more days off for Thanksgiving than for Christmas, but whatever. All that said, I propose another holiday that needs to be on the books…

…”Get Over Yourself” Day.

Opportunity

Opportunity is a funny thing…well, to be more correct, we act funny when it comes to opportunity. We always talk about how much we want it, and then it comes and we - well, act funny.

If a new professional opportunity comes up, we start to wonder about the corresponding changes we’ll have to make if we take the opportunity. Will I have to move? Will I get along with new people? What about the old people? Am I leaving something behind?

Two Steps

I found out a few minutes ago that Junior Seau died, apparently from a self-inflicted shot to the chest. This makes me feel odd in a number of ways: some of which are more relevant than others.

The main thought I have is “what in the world made him kill himself: he had money, fame, respect, and if he picked five women on any random day he could probably get with four of them”. Just goes to show that in his case and that of other athletes who’ve committed similar acts, we as fans don’t know what’s going on in their heads.

Six Tips...And Thoughts On Those Tips

Ed. note: I don't know how I had this in my queue for so long (almost a year), but since it makes no sense to keep it there and I likely still agree with it, here it is...

Ran across a Marni Kinrys article on CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/07/14/how.to.pick.up.girls/index.html) that gave men six tips on dating. Article text is in bold and regular type, comments are in italics.

(CNN) -- You have to think about picking up girls the exact same way you think about picking up a box. You just do it. Seriously. After working with thousands of men all around the world, I have found that the common issue holding men back with women is that "thing" on top of their shoulders. It thinks, analyzes and makes excuses, so rejection is self-inflicted before women even get a chance to do it.

Here are six secrets men need to know about women to help them stop that "thing" in their head from destroying their dating life:

No, I'm Not Perfect

I promised myself I wouldn’t try to rationalize or sugar-coat these things (at least individually). At the same time, I will say that I have little to no interest in changing them. My imperfections make me ‘me’ the same way that my positive attributes do. It’s all part of the same package.

*Note: none of these will be physical. If you think my being short or skinny is an imperfection, then…nah, won’t go there.

The Fabulous Straight-Edge Life

Over the last month I’ve mentioned CM Punk and his straight-edge lifestyle quite a bit. I’ve also gone into my own “straight-edgeness” (if you will) and related it to that of Punk and his ongoing storyline with Chris Jericho.

Don’t worry: this one won’t focus on wrestling much, if at all.

Why I Want to Join Mensa

I think I’ve mentioned to a few people that I’m interested in joining Mensa. Might have even mentioned it in a previous entry. I don’t think I ever got into why I have this particular interest, so I’ll do that now.

Why I'm Never Getting Married

So I’ve finally figured out the main reason why I need not ever get married. It came to me in the form of a question that someone posed on Facebook. The question was…

…after you get married, who should be the most important person in your life: your mother or your spouse?

The Unattractiveness of Being Smart

Sometimes I run across tweets that inspire me to write. This would happen to be one of those times.

One of my Twitter peoples retweeted a woman saying she’d take a smart man over an attractive man.

Anyone got the number for BS? I need to make a call.

 

Thinking Like A Man

Yes, this is about the movie.

Yes, I am going to see it.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way (yes, that's a Steve Harvey shout out), let's get to it.

The Best Wrestler of All Time

Saw a tweet asking whether the Undertaker was the best wrestler of all time since he’s been in 20 WrestleManias (and if you need to ask how he’s done in those 20, please exit stage left). My immediate answer was no; as names like Austin, Hogan, Michaels, and Flair came to mind. Then I started thinking: they have their warts too. I’ll get to those below, but it’s really interesting how arguments would have to vary about who the best wrestler of all time is. Let’s look at some guys (I’m sorry, but there isn’t a female wrestler I can put up there) and see their cases.

Brown Isn't Really Black

Was thinking about something to write about and had no clue. Was going to simply do a 20-something and then the idea came to me. In honor of this whole Coming To America thing, I'm going to talk about a few things that (most) black people (I know) like and I don't...and things I like that (most) black people (I know) don't. They won't be grouped together, as I'm thinking of them randomly.

A Cult of Two Personalities (Part II)

So I left off with how the current CM Punk storyline mirrors my own life in a few ways, particularly a possible effect of something that Chris Jericho said. Last week (right after I posted), Punk mentioned in a promo that he was proud of the strides his father has made. That’s where I’ll pick up.

Reasons...Three Months Later

So, as most everyone knows; I decided three months ago that I was done with women/dating. In this time, I have thought about a few things and I am still as grounded as ever in my decision. I don’t think I ever gave expanded reasoning for it, other than outlining the events that led to it. I’ll go ahead and do that, under the guise of explaining why it is so easy to stick with it.

A Cult of Two Personalities

For those of you who don't know, I'm a wrestling fan. I'm actually going to WrestleMania this year, since it's in Miami and I have a friend getting married that same weekend. Well, I was going to WrestleMania anyway: I bought my ticket before I was invited to the wedding. At any rate, I'm going.

American Pride

As many of y’all - shoot, just about everyone reading this on FB should - know, I’m from South Florida. Everyone also knows that South Florida has a large population of people who come from the islands.

Note: if you’re from the islands (especially if you’re female), you’re liable to not like me very much by the end of this piece.

For some reason I thought back to a time in high school when I was asked this question (by one of my FB friends, actually)…

What Would BIG Do?

So I have something new to talk about. Fifteen years ago tomorrow (well, not the day I'm writing this; but the day I'm posting it) Christopher Wallace was killed in a shooting out in LA. I'm not going to recap anything from that or even run down a list of my favorite songs by Mr. Wallace...now. I'm going to instead ask a hypothetical question.

If Wallace were still alive, would he still be rapping?

My answer? Heck no.

Why not?

Well, that's what the rest of this is about.

Lowest Common Denominator

I said I was going to stop talking about dating/relationship type stuff, but a tweet I saw and responded to made me realize there's something that needs to be discussed. Someone who one of my friends retweeted said that rule #1 for any "relational" (as opposed to relationship) partner was that they had to have a vagina. I said that the condition was necessary, but not sufficient. Guy then replied to me and said that sometimes it is sufficient.

Now, my mind immediately went to the fact that guys have been falling all over themselves for it for years and years. Even though there are so many reasons to not do so - friendships, finances, family - fools still go all out for it. Jay-Z and R Kelly made a song about it. Many rappers have made songs outlining the dangers of such behavior, although the message is often clouded by some accompanying presentation which a large segment of the population considers to be misogynistic.

I'm not arguing 'for' or 'against' on that point, because that's not what this is about. What this is about is one simple thing that guys who go all out seem to forget: something that has economic application even though it's a mathematical concept.

The Small Market: Life and Death of the Sporting World (Part IV)

Preserve your product, small-market owners. You are not the product. If fans turn against the players, they turn against the sport (once again: if you’re an NBA fan, you know this). Shoot, MLB fans know it too: MLB owners - NFL owners too, to an extent - were just smart enough to frame their grievances in a manner that didn’t hurt the game. They blamed large-market owners…which isn’t much better, but is much more palatable…because it doesn’t hurt the product.

Shoot, an argument could be made that it helps. Fans rally around their teams as the David vs. Goliath narrative takes over. Everyone gets involved and picks up their slingshots. Easy stories to write, interesting plotlines to develop…win-win.

The Small Market: Life and Death of the Sporting World (Part III)

Seriously, what costs more: one good scouting person or five good players?

No one, but no one, gets this better than the Tampa Bay Rays (please let someone be smart enough to get that team a stadium in Westshore or Channelside). Draft, groom, bring them up, sign the best ones, and trade the rest for more players who they can…groom, bring them up, sign if they’re good enough, and so on. That’s how you compete with a low payroll….which could be higher if owners weren’t greedy.

The Small Market: Life and Death of the Sporting World (Part II)

It’s these fans - and fans like them in other cities - that keep the sports world going. Fans in places like Milwaukee, Orlando, Seattle, Salt Lake City, and Kansas City have as much to do with the success of sports franchises as fans in the cities mentioned above. They go out and they support their teams…

“…no. they don’t. No one goes to the games in the small markets and that’s why their revenues are lower…”

Anyone with half a background in business or economics knows that the statement in quotes is patently false. Many factors contribute to sports team revenues, and in the cases of some teams they make a profit before they sell one ticket thanks to their leagues’ revenue-sharing policies. People stay away from games for one of two reasons: either the team isn’t good or the prices are too high - and it’s more the latter than the former. This is a rather basic concept in economics: teams charge the highest amount that the largest number of fans will pay for tickets. If the ticket prices are low enough, people will come. If the team is good enough, people will come.

There are exceptions, but there are also reasons for those exceptions. I would list some, but this is going to be long enough as is. I’ll instead jump into the main reason why small-market attendance is down in many cases, and also introduce that group as the entity that works as hard to ruin sports as small-market fans do to keep sports going…and they won’t have to look far to find this group.

I’m talking about small-market owners.

Small-market owners want to have their cake, eat it, and have the cake be provided for free. The obvious poster child for this is Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, who’s made a complete [donkey] of himself in the past year and a half. By the way, honorable mention goes to the Spurs owner (whose name I forget) for singing the woes of the small market while being blinded by the four titles his team has won since 1999.

I could talk about individual small-market owners all day, but I’m at about 900 words so…small-market owners complain that they can’t make money, can’t win, and/or can’t keep their best players. The NBA has a unique problem that I’ll avoid for the sake of brevity (a concept which quickly - and often - goes out the window when I write, but whatever), but generally speaking these owners go about the process all wrong.

If you know you’re basically being subsidized by your league, give the fans a break. I don’t know the core financials of any sports teams, but I will say that no team whose subsidy exceeds its expenses should charge fans more than $50 for any ticket. You’re already making a profit: give the fans the maximum opportunity to enjoy your team. You still get that bit of ticket money, not to mention the added income that comes from other gameday functions. To do anything else is to simply be greedy.

As far as winning goes…put some money in your scouting departments. This is obvious in baseball, but it works in football and basketball as well. Getting good scouts is by far the easiest and most cost-effective way to save money on talent. Even large-market teams get this: look at the Dallas Cowboys. After dealing with Roy Williams’s incompetence, they gave a chance to a small-school guy. Small-school guy ripped shop and became one of the league’s better WRs. His name is Miles Austin. This season, Austin gets hurt. The Cowboys (with help from Norv Turner) have this other small-school guy…who rips shop and may well become one of the league’s better WRs. His name is Laurent Robinson. Meet the new Miles Austin, same as the old Miles Austin. Not only is Robinson good, but he’s cheap. Obviously, not every team can then sign a guy to a long-term deal like the Cowboys did with Austin. That’s cool: s’why there are things called trades. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Seriously, what costs more: one good scouting person or five good players?

The Small Market: Life and Death of the Sporting World (Part I)

*This was originally finished a month and a half ago (as people will notice with the mention of the Packers as Super Bowl champions), but never released. Sigh.
 

I’ve been trying to think of something to write. I’m about tired of talking about dating/relationship topics and I haven’t felt like delving back into the one big topic I was writing on at some point (perhaps this would be a good time to pass on what I’ve already written on that to my prospective collaborator, but I digress). So I racked my brain and thought - what better to write about than…

…sports.

I try to stay away from sports on here (especially football, since I do something on that every week), but I think there’s an interesting topic on which I can come up with a few words…and maybe it’ll have some non-sporting application.

(Ed. note: there are four parts due to the length of the piece.)

The Whitney Houston Post

I originally planned on writing about Jeremy Lin and the craze involving him...and I will, assuming that circumstances still warrant in about a week. However, that all changed when news broke tonight that Whitney Houston died.

In the last two and a half years we've lost the two biggest black musical voices of the 80s (I'm only using race as a divider because Madonna would likely be the biggest female voice). I'm not going to write about the parallels between Michael Jackson and Whitney, even though there are quite a few. This is going to be all Whitney - well, it'll be all Whitney as far as my memories.

Dirty Macks of Hip Hop

So, thanks to CJStarchild (that's his Twitter handle); I've been introduced to the term "dirty mack". He got it from sportswriter Bomani Jones. Basically, a dirty mack (in this context) is a singer who moves in on another man's girl in a song.

Now R&B is too wide a genre of music to do this with, so I've decided to make a "fun, but not definitive or exhaustive" ranking of dirty macks in hip hop. This'll probably just be a top ten - okay, I made it five...and I already know who #1 has to be without thinking about it much. A man's ranking will depend mainly on the dirtiness of the macking in the song and how big the song got. I'll list some other notable efforts before getting to the top 5 - and I think the top 5 is pretty unquestionable.

Thoughts on the Washington Post/Kaiser Family Foundation Survey

I came across an interesting survey the other day thanks to a friend of mine posting about it. It’s the Washington Post/Kaiser Family Foundation effort that asked questions of black and white respondents of each sex.

The questions all had 4 or 5 possible responses on Likert type scales. All of the percentages, unless otherwise noted, will be for the strongest response (strongly agree, very important, and so on). Going to pick out a few of these questions and vibe a bit.

What Joe Paterno Taught Me

So I have an entry that I was going to put on here tonight. It's a rather lengthy piece, enough so that I will have to split it up. That'll have to wait.

As everyone probably knows by now, Joe Paterno passed away this morning. Even if you don't follow sports, you know the Paterno story because of a louse named Jerry Sandusky. As us sports fans know, there was a lot more to Paterno - and much of that will dominate sports news in the coming days.

We'll hear about Paterno's wins. His 409th win - which would turn out to be his last - put him past Eddie Robinson and lifted him into first place all-time in that category. We'll hear about the two national titles, the second of which will forever unnerve me as a Miami fan. We may even hear about the philanthropy: Paterno and his family gave millions to Penn State. One thing that we'll definitely hear about is his forming young minds to become productive members of society and his teaching hundreds of former players. It's the teaching part that I want to focus on.

A New Dress Code

I’ve been thinking lately that I need to upgrade my wardrobe. “So what”…well, honestly; there’s a little bit more to it than that. The upgrade thoughts - and I’ll admit, a certain vodka commercial…even though I don’t drink - led to the idea that I should establish a new dress code for myself (for lack of a better term). The basic outline is below.

Incomprehensible

In the last few weeks - not because of the dating thing, but it does relate - I’ve figured out something about myself that…well, to be honest; I already knew it. I figured out why I’m such a difficult person to really get to know or get close to.

I’m impossible to (completely) understand.

A 2011 Review

 What happened this past year? Let's see...

Music

I’m not even going to lie: music stunk in 2011. Usually I can come up with long lists of songs I’ve liked, but I’m going to struggle to come up with a decently long list of songs that actually came out (or really hit the scene) in 2011. Since I enjoy, challenges, though…

Physics At Work

This is going to be especially funny considering where I’m writing this, but then again I guess it makes all the sense in the world (you should be able to figure out where this is being written).

I’ve always been someone to put so much into my personal life (to no apparent avail) but not really put 100% into my academic/professional life (a statement with which pretty much everyone I’ve worked alongside would likely disagree). I think I’ve written enough about the personal stuff, so this time around I’ll focus on the vocational side of things.

Will I Know How?

(Emptying out the 'dating/relationship' queue...)

As you all may have noticed, I haven’t had the greatest success with dating/relationship (not that anything has even reached said status, but for purposes of nomenclature it makes sense to use the term) in 2011. The other day I started thinking: if by some minor miracle, I meet someone who interests me sufficiently, will I know how to handle it? I’m not sure, and there are a few mistakes I could see myself making.

Texting and Dating

(Ed. Note: this was originally written a month and a half ago. The personal aspect was no longer applicable as of mid-November).

I must be getting old.

I remember a time when the process went like this: guy meets girl and strikes up conversation. Guy asks for Girl’s number, which she gives to him. Guy calls Girl, and after an appropriate (but varying) amount of phone conversations, they go out together. After an appropriate (but varying) amount of dates, they figure out what they want to do - if anything.

Rules of Engagement

I don’t know if I’ve written about this before, but I’m going to assume that I haven’t and talk about something that needs to be talked about: rules.

We all have them. No, I’m not talking about dating preferences. I’m talking about simple rules we have that mainly concern our interaction with others.

I’m famous for some of mine…as a matter of fact, I’ll frame this post off those and then speak generally as I talk about each one.

Something To Hide? Something Is Wrong.

I’ve been slow on the non-football writing (actually, this isn’t true: I lost my thumb drive yet again and it had some complete-but-yet-to-be-published stuff on it) so I figured it was time (once I came up with something). This is totally random, but I think it’ll make sense.

I was thinking about my complication level in comparison to those of most men I know. Now I’ve never thought of myself as complicated, but I’m aware that some women have thought of me as just that. They’re entitled to their prerogatives: I just happen to disagree. I don’t think I’m complicated so much as…layered, multifaceted, eclectic, whatever.