News Flash: Women Are People Too

We men are funny people sometimes.

One of our biggest issues is that we tend to objectify women.

Before y'all think I'm applying for a job at NOW, let me explain this.


When we approach women, we often see them and think of them as objects...but not necessarily as objects like hammers or cars or TVs. We see them as objects of affection. There's nothing wrong with this, on one level. We should look to treat women with affection - and respect and courtesy, among other things.

However, there's another side of the story. When we treat women as objects of affection, we still treat them as objects.

We don't treat them as individuals...as people. Often in our pursuit, we forget that women are people. They are unique individuals who won't fall prey to "one size fits all" approaches or lines (unless you look like whoever's hot this week). I'm no expert on women by any means, but I think it's common sense that they should be treated as people instead of possessions. From the outside looking in, I'd have to say this is the biggest mistake men make in the approach game.

And if our approaches are rebuffed? Oh boy.

Women the become objects of derision and ridicule - which makes even less sense. I'm as "bottom line" as anyone and I know that women lie - often - to get men out of their hair. That said, saying 'no' does not make a woman unattractive (physically, anyway). All those post-rejection insults need to cease and desist.

"Agreed, but what does that have to do with objectification?"

Well, if we actually have conversations and take the time to see and/or approach women as people we won't be as likely to go the negative route if something bad happens. That really just shows a lack of maturity and decency - which, last I checked, were two qualities men needed to be successful with women anyway.

One other thing: I know when I'm talking to someone I feel more comfortable when I can relate to them...once I can see them as a person who has feelings like I do. Of course people often shield that side of themselves, but the perceptive person can tell it's there even without seeing it themselves. At any rate, I would imagine that a lot of pressure would go away when the situation goes from a negotiation to a conversation.

Women are more than the sum of their parts, no matter how attractive those parts may be. They smile, they laugh, they think...just like we do. Matter of fact, we're more similar than we probably realize. Shame that we forget these things so often in our advances - and that might be why advances often are anything but.

Physical attraction can be assumed, so mentioning it is really a waste of time. If you want to get to know a woman, get to know her - as a person, as an individual. You may see attractiveness that can't be detected visually, and that's much more rewarding.