As those who follow me on Twitter know, I went through a situation (or two) leaving me thinking a lot about these two terms. Looking the two up on The Free Dictionary, I saw that each term has a definition that I would have applied to the other. Value is more internal, while worth is more external (I thought it was the other way around). So when people say “know your worth”, they’re speaking somewhat inaccurately according to the source named above.
I’ve been left to wonder about my worth - please believe value is never in question - thanks to situations like the ones alluded to above and those similar in nature that have preceded it. Just to give an overview of what happened a couple weeks ago: this girl and I were somewhat in the talking phase and Thursday (11/3) she told me she was talking to and starting to fall for another guy. Friday I went out with another girl. Saturday I went out with the other girl again. Sunday I texted the other girl. Have yet to hear back from the other girl. The first girl talked to me (as in ‘initiated conversation’) Monday, and we ended up agreeing to have lunch in Orlando next weekend. Tuesday I thought more about it and decided to not go to lunch (she's still into the other guy). Wednesday she passed it off and basically said "whatever". Anyway, back to this value/worth thing.
See, value is determined by me - and I believe I’m pretty valuable. No, I’m not going to talk about resume-type things. It’s not about that. I just happen to think that the total being of me is valuable. I think I have a lot of good qualities, so on and so forth.
Worth? Now that’s a completely different story. Worth, in this dating/relationship sense, is determined by the women I’ve encountered (for the purposes of this discussion, we’re going to limit the time frame to 2011). Given that framing, let’s look at the evidence. One girl planned a date and never showed (thankfully, I was smart enough not to show either). One girl changed her number and didn’t tell me. One girl said she didn’t have a phone, gave me her e-mail address, and then never responded. You’ve read about the last two above.
Allow me to feel pretty close to worthless…but still with a lot of value.
I think people get the two confused - if not by thinking that each is the other like I did, then by thinking that they’re the same. For instance, if I tell one of my female friends I’m worthless (or something to that extent) I usually have to clarify and say that I’m not talking about my opinion of me. My opinion of me is fine: I just don’t get why it’s so different than everyone else’s.
Had a conversation the other day in which I said that women often/usually pass over the good men (of which I swear there are more of than most women care to admit) for the flashy types. I then cycled through my male friends and realized that nearly all of my more flashy friends are in relationships. The one guy who’s probably less flashy than me? Single as I am. The flashiest of friends have never been without women chasing them, and the only question was whether they allowed themselves to be caught. I’m not sure what that says. Maybe flashing value correlates to - or is - worth.
If so, then I guess I’ll have to remain worthless. As value is defined internally, I’ll say that most - if not all - of my value comes from being me. Whatever I am, being that is essentially my value. No, I’m not Mister Look-At-Me. I’m not going to walk around with a T-shirt that says “You should date me because…” on the front and a list of reasons on the back. Love it or leave it, take it or hate it: doesn’t matter to me. It may make me worthless, but I guarantee I’ll still be valuable.
