Now I never used to be a fan of Le Batard. Hated when he was on PTI, thought he was just a loudmouth from Miami (there are a few of those). My opinion of Le Batard changed drastically when I saw him on 'The U'. His commentary on the Miami teams of the 80s was ridiculously on point. Then, two weeks ago on Mike and Mike, he came up with the absolute gem that is the inspiration for this here note.
"Las Vegas was built on the rule, while people chase the aberration."
Le Batard went on to mention the obvious fact that Vegas isn't hurting in the area of new casinos and that business is going rather well in the 702 (that isn't true for everyone in the region, but that's another matter). No one wants to hear it because it makes for dull and predictable television, but the rule works. That's why it's the rule.
So, what's the point? Glad you asked. The point is that the rule teaches us lessons that we often ignore looking for the aberration. Most of the time, this is out of convenience. Here are some statements that follow the rule rather than the aberration.
1. The Heat will win the NBA championship.
Depending on how long it takes me to write this (it's 5:34 on June 7 right now), this one may already be complete by the time this gets published. Still, though, it makes sense to start with this because this is the context in which Le Batard gave the quote. At any given time, they have 3 of the best 4 players from either team on the floor. It was true against the Celtics (Pierce), the Bulls (Rose), and is true against the Mavs (Nowitzki). No, neither Kevin Garnett nor Ray Allen is as good as Chris Bosh...but thanks for playing. Neither is a one-armed Rajon Rondo, although the case could be made for a healthy Rondo. I left the Sixers out for a reason. Given that NBA ball is 5-on-5, it only makes sense that the team with 3 of the best 4 players is going to win...as Le Batard said. That said, there'll be a party here early next week. Of course, this goes beyond sports.
2. Good women are the aberration...especially in Tallahassee.
I'm going to go a lot more in-depth on this one next time out. Speaking of which, sensitive folks without Y chromosomes may want to avoid that one. I will start this abbreviated piece by saying that most women who read this are the aberration. Probably the biggest issue that good women have - and I think I've mentioned this before - is that they think all women are good women. Even though I feel 'balderdash' is much too mice of a reaction, I feel like saying 'balderdash'. So...balderdash. There's a reason all those Poison Clan and NWA songs were made (whether the reason is good enough to warrant the fervor in such music is, naturally, much more debatable). Between the wrong numbers, games, lies, and everything else; this statement should be easy to understand. Speaking in terms of the 850, I've gotten far too much cosignage from both men and women who live there to really have to go into that. "All my girls are @thebomb"...no, they're not. You are, a couple of your friends are cool, and there's one who just hates the fact that men even exist. Show me any group of four female friends and I'll tell you who fits into what category in three days. Anyway, more on that next time out.
3. Republicans are going to say stupid things.
Whether it's Sarah Palin, Tim Pawlenty, Rick Scott, Herman Cain, or...okay, I could be here all night...someone in the right wing is going to say something that is completely asinine. "Let's count on 5 percent growth in the GDP"...last time we had consecutive years of 5% growth, Nixon really wasn't a crook (yet). I wasn't born, or even thought of. Covered Palin last time, gone in on Scott on numerous occasions, and Donald Trump's gaffes were on display for the world to see. Maybe he can pay someone to rewrite history for Palin and Michelle Bachmann...oh, wait: he doesn't have that much. Every once in a while, a Republican will say something that actually makes sense. I can't think of any such instances offhand, but I know that such rarities have occurred. Then again, there's the bonus of them forgetting that Ronald Reagan raised taxes 11 times and increased the federal workforce by 60,000 during his presidency. Actually, there's a lot of Reagan stuff they'd rather people not know.
4. Mainstream music is terrible, and pretty much has been since the mid-1990s.
Music isn't like athletics: "bigger, faster, stronger" doesn't apply. Sure, we have 808s and all that now; but I would hardly say synthesizers and auto-tune represented some next level in evolution the same way the guy who can bench 400 and run a 4.5 did. Put LeBron in the 1950s and he's destroying teams. Can't say the same about Ne-Yo or T-Pain. Now, I defend the modern acts a lot more than most people in my age group. It's not some reminiscing-type deal, no "things were better when I was little" style rant. The 80s and early 90s produced the best music known to man. I don't see how anyone can objectively argue that point. Now, there are some current acts who would fit in any era. Maroon 5 comes to mind. Maybe this Adele person I'm hearing so much about (wouldn't know because I haven't heard her music, but everyone seems to be talking about her). Most current acts seem to just be flashes in the pan. Case in point: AOL Black Voices is hardly an authority on anything - including simple grammar, punctuation, spelling, and style - but there is an AOL BV article naming 25 songs that have moved black America. None of them were released after 1995. Wait a minute: didn't someone said something about athletics?
5. College teams in revenue-producing sports (football, men's basketball) have to cheat - or at the very least, have questionable character - to win.
There's too much money involved now, and we all know that cash (which is at the root of most cheating) usually corrupts once it gets past a certain point. Let's look through recent BCS champions. Auburn: Cam Newton. There are people down here who still talk about Nick Saban's character. UF...30 arrests ring a bell? LSU...honestly, can't remember anything off the bat. USC...I'm sure everyone's been paying attention to the news lately. Same goes for Ohio State, and I don't think anyone can pretend Miami was totally clean. Tournament champions...yes, we had our issues (sorry Nate Miles). Duke never seems to do anything wrong (which seems a little fishy to me). Same with North Carolina. There had been rumblings with Kansas. Mr. "I'll coach the Magic for a day" is at UF. It's not just about champions, though. Anywhere John Calipari's been: problems. Oregon football, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State...even HBCUs are having issues with recruiting violations. The most important game winning programs play is the game of hide-and-go-seek with the NCAA.
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As stated above, there's a reason that the rule is the rule and the aberration is the aberration. It relates to statistical regression in a way: most occurrences of any action will have relatively little variation from the mean occurrence (however it's measured). We all want to look like geniuses, but I think sometimes - okay, often - people do nothing more than try to throw something at a wall to see if it sticks. No rhyme or reason, just "I'll say this outlandish thing to try to get people's attention, and if it actually works then I get the bonus of looking smart". They seem to forget that, going back to statistical regression, things always have a way of working themselves out and going back toward the mean...because that's the rule.
