The Attractiveness of Unattractive Men

I know, I know: two in the same day. This one is inspired by Vicki Larson's piece on HuffPost (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/picking-the-wrong-mate_b_873044.html).

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As you've hopefully clicked the link and seen (or figured out using context clues), this will center on the search that women undergo to find attractive men...and why it's often more trouble than it's worth. I'll go through some of the main points that Larson expressed or alluded to in the article.

1. You must have an abundance of either natural, aesthetic, or financial talent to find a woman.

You cannot be average all three areas, but women will let you slide in one area if you basically ooze one of the other two. Long story short, there is a sliding scale. You can be the starving artist and get by for a while. You can be ugly if you're rich. Shoot, you can be any bad thing in the world and be rich. Fine may not pay bills, but it can earn a pass.

2. The more financially independent a woman is, the better her man has to look.

Remember the bit about fine not paying the bills? When women are paying their own, it doesn't matter as much...except it does. As Chris Rock once said (Bigger and Blacker), what do women want? Everything. In case anyone's forgotten, this is the bit when he talked about the big piece of chicken. We men have to not only look good: we have to have every positive trait women can think of - regardless of whether they have these traits themselves or can identify these traits in a police lineup, but that's another matter - and a few that they don't even know about that their friends turned them on to.

3. If one woman finds a man attractive, other women will likely find him attractive too.

Might be the reason a study found the most masculine men - whatever that means - to be 30-40% more likely to cheat and/or have marital problems than other men. Now, I'm not going to say that a man is only as faithful as his options. That's a copout...and it's false.

4. Couples are happier when the woman is more attractive.

At least, that's what a NY Daily News article said. Also, I believe it was Mya who said "can't stand a man who thinks he looks - better than me" (Free, second verse). No one wins when the man looks better than the woman, especially when #3 situations occur. She gets insecure and jealous, he gets arrogant and...um...indiscriminant, and it all breaks loose. Relationships with unattractive men have no such issues. We're just happy to have attractive women and we hope we don't mess up the gene pool for our children.

5. Men in relationships are better "catches" than men who are single.

This is one of those things that makes sense in theory, but the execution...not so much. If he's in a relationship, that means he's in a relationship with someone else. Even if the "best" possible thing happens and he leaves that relationship for you (generally speaking), what makes you think he won't upgrade from you to the next big (most likely not literally) thing? There's only one "baddest chick in the world", and simple probability tells us it likely isn't you.

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Okay, who are we kidding here? All women want is a guy with money - that he's willing to share.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X2u2cdvJSg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CQHIP-38jA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6MLLSArEz4

Anthony Weiner, Democrats, and Representation

Sometimes the best-laid plans go awry...I was going to write about something else, as I mentioned last time. However, temporal factors forced me to get this out. That other topic will always - and I mean always...okay, maybe not always (you'll see why really early in this one) - be there.

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As I was watching Maryam Nemazee - I mean, Bloomberg - this morning I saw that President Obama said he would resign if he were Anthony Weiner.

First: black women everywhere would be crushed if the president were to find himself in that situation. That would probably be the final nail in the coffin of black relationships (which are already in the emergency room, but that's another matter - which has been well-chronicled). Black men [who only wish to date black women] would be stuck, as black women would never trust them again. Ever. Rentals of Jungle Fever and Guess Who would be at an all-time high.

Second, this is to say nothing of what would happen to Barack himself. Michelle would want to cause him serious harm - and she'd have a bunch of rich, powerful, and gun-toting allies if she looks to her right. Let's not get it twisted: they don't like her either. At all. However, there is precedent that they will side with a sister to get at a Democrat in office (see: Florida Legislature, Daphne Campbell, Scott Randolph). Obviously Campbell and Randolph are not married...but then again, politics does make for strange bedfellows.

Wait: I was talking about Weiner. Insert your own analogous line here.

The Republicans are obviously happy with the Weiner developments. The Democrats are not, and many of them want him to resign. Last I heard, he's not going to...

...and he shouldn't.

I heard a poll of his constituents showed that most of them want him to stay in office. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the only thing that matters. The Dems don't want Weiner to resign for his sake or that of his constituency: they want him to resign for the party's sake. Now I'm not sure whether Weiner wants to stay on for selfish reasons or those of the more altruistic kind, but either way he's making the right decision.

This isn't about politics, this is about government. The Constitution - which is mostly a fine document, it's the application of the concepts therein that's always been the problem - says that people are allowed to choose their own representatives in government. These people choose (according to the poll) to keep Weiner. The Democrats didn't elect him. Neither Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, nor Debbie Wasserman-Schultz cast a ballot in New York. Let them keep their representative. Hopefully Weiner gets his life straightened out and represents his district to the best of his ability. They trust him to do so. That's all that should matter.

I'd love to see Weiner hold a press conference and tell the higher ups "forget y'all: these people elected me and they want me to remain in office - I work with you, but I work for them" and then tell them where to go, complete with instructions on how to use their GPS systems to figure out how to get there. Would it be bad for the party? Yes. Would that, in extension, be bad for me? Yes. It would, though, be nice if they remembered who put them in office. You know, like the Republicans...

...okay, I was barely able to keep a straight face. They surely don't represent the people. Some people, yes. Usually people with their own tax brackets and loathe regulation (an argument I can actually get with, in theory), but they do represent the desires of some people.

Wait, I seem to be veering off the path again. This is about Weiner. It's not about the decay and destruction of black relationships or the real meaning of representative government or the hypocrisy of the both parties.

Then again, maybe I keep veering off because this Weiner thing just isn't that important.