I know, I know: two in the same day. This one is inspired by Vicki Larson's piece on HuffPost (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/picking-the-wrong-mate_b_873044.html).
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As you've hopefully clicked the link and seen (or figured out using context clues), this will center on the search that women undergo to find attractive men...and why it's often more trouble than it's worth. I'll go through some of the main points that Larson expressed or alluded to in the article.
1. You must have an abundance of either natural, aesthetic, or financial talent to find a woman.
You cannot be average all three areas, but women will let you slide in one area if you basically ooze one of the other two. Long story short, there is a sliding scale. You can be the starving artist and get by for a while. You can be ugly if you're rich. Shoot, you can be any bad thing in the world and be rich. Fine may not pay bills, but it can earn a pass.
2. The more financially independent a woman is, the better her man has to look.
Remember the bit about fine not paying the bills? When women are paying their own, it doesn't matter as much...except it does. As Chris Rock once said (Bigger and Blacker), what do women want? Everything. In case anyone's forgotten, this is the bit when he talked about the big piece of chicken. We men have to not only look good: we have to have every positive trait women can think of - regardless of whether they have these traits themselves or can identify these traits in a police lineup, but that's another matter - and a few that they don't even know about that their friends turned them on to.
3. If one woman finds a man attractive, other women will likely find him attractive too.
Might be the reason a study found the most masculine men - whatever that means - to be 30-40% more likely to cheat and/or have marital problems than other men. Now, I'm not going to say that a man is only as faithful as his options. That's a copout...and it's false.
4. Couples are happier when the woman is more attractive.
At least, that's what a NY Daily News article said. Also, I believe it was Mya who said "can't stand a man who thinks he looks - better than me" (Free, second verse). No one wins when the man looks better than the woman, especially when #3 situations occur. She gets insecure and jealous, he gets arrogant and...um...indiscriminant, and it all breaks loose. Relationships with unattractive men have no such issues. We're just happy to have attractive women and we hope we don't mess up the gene pool for our children.
5. Men in relationships are better "catches" than men who are single.
This is one of those things that makes sense in theory, but the execution...not so much. If he's in a relationship, that means he's in a relationship with someone else. Even if the "best" possible thing happens and he leaves that relationship for you (generally speaking), what makes you think he won't upgrade from you to the next big (most likely not literally) thing? There's only one "baddest chick in the world", and simple probability tells us it likely isn't you.
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Okay, who are we kidding here? All women want is a guy with money - that he's willing to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X2u2cdvJSg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CQHIP-38jA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6MLLSArEz4
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As you've hopefully clicked the link and seen (or figured out using context clues), this will center on the search that women undergo to find attractive men...and why it's often more trouble than it's worth. I'll go through some of the main points that Larson expressed or alluded to in the article.
1. You must have an abundance of either natural, aesthetic, or financial talent to find a woman.
You cannot be average all three areas, but women will let you slide in one area if you basically ooze one of the other two. Long story short, there is a sliding scale. You can be the starving artist and get by for a while. You can be ugly if you're rich. Shoot, you can be any bad thing in the world and be rich. Fine may not pay bills, but it can earn a pass.
2. The more financially independent a woman is, the better her man has to look.
Remember the bit about fine not paying the bills? When women are paying their own, it doesn't matter as much...except it does. As Chris Rock once said (Bigger and Blacker), what do women want? Everything. In case anyone's forgotten, this is the bit when he talked about the big piece of chicken. We men have to not only look good: we have to have every positive trait women can think of - regardless of whether they have these traits themselves or can identify these traits in a police lineup, but that's another matter - and a few that they don't even know about that their friends turned them on to.
3. If one woman finds a man attractive, other women will likely find him attractive too.
Might be the reason a study found the most masculine men - whatever that means - to be 30-40% more likely to cheat and/or have marital problems than other men. Now, I'm not going to say that a man is only as faithful as his options. That's a copout...and it's false.
4. Couples are happier when the woman is more attractive.
At least, that's what a NY Daily News article said. Also, I believe it was Mya who said "can't stand a man who thinks he looks - better than me" (Free, second verse). No one wins when the man looks better than the woman, especially when #3 situations occur. She gets insecure and jealous, he gets arrogant and...um...indiscriminant, and it all breaks loose. Relationships with unattractive men have no such issues. We're just happy to have attractive women and we hope we don't mess up the gene pool for our children.
5. Men in relationships are better "catches" than men who are single.
This is one of those things that makes sense in theory, but the execution...not so much. If he's in a relationship, that means he's in a relationship with someone else. Even if the "best" possible thing happens and he leaves that relationship for you (generally speaking), what makes you think he won't upgrade from you to the next big (most likely not literally) thing? There's only one "baddest chick in the world", and simple probability tells us it likely isn't you.
---
Okay, who are we kidding here? All women want is a guy with money - that he's willing to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X2u2cdvJSg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CQHIP-38jA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6MLLSArEz4
Another article on looks, instead of character (not to be confused with personality). It kinda annoys me, when a friend will ask "was he cute" and I'm tryna give the spill about his vibe, his attitude and everything else I find to be pertinent. It goes both ways with gender, what you place value on. But, I know I'm not the only one that cares about the character of a person, and I can only hope I'm not in the minority. But, I guess since it takes time to learn the true character of a person, people just don't want to invest that time in a person they don't find attractive.
ReplyDeleteShrugs shoulders, then gets back to work.
Pretty much...we live in such a microwave society. When you combine that with our swearing we know so much about everyone you get a bunch of people who don't take time to cultivate relationships, especially not those of the romantic variety.
ReplyDelete