Can't Go Home Again

So, the last three days have been rather eventful. I was a panelist on a radio show (Listen) Monday, I had a job interview Tuesday, and I had to give a presentation at work today. Throughout the week I had one idea when I got past everything, and even before that I had an idea of what I would do the next time a bunch of stuff actually started happening:

Harry Belafonte vs. Jay Z

In no uncertain terms, I am solidly on the side of Harry Belafonte regarding this situation between him and Jay Z (he dropped the hyphen).

The one thing I side with Jigga on is that entertainers shouldn't feel a responsibility to act as though they have a social conscience. No one should have to do anything they don't want to, no matter what position they find themselves in.

"But that's what the whole thing si about, so you really agree with Jay"...no, it's not: and no, I don't.

Compliments...Sigh

You know, we live in a sad world when complimenting is a crazy game. Even the most well-intentioned, least ulterior, and most good-natured comments are often met with incredulity or even scorn. As such, I’ve decided to write a bit about the struggle: mainly, the criteria I base my compliments on.

Some Thoughts on the Verdict

In what should be a surprise to no one, I have a few thoughts/statements to make regarding the verdict. Going to start with something...that I already said.

"B. Brown thinks they should just let Zimmerman walk out now and save Florida the cost and embarrassment bound to result from this 'trial'." - June 20, 2013 (Facebook status)

Rappers For 30

So, tickets for Yo Gotti (if you don’t know who he is, it’s not important – just know he’s a rapper) a few Saturdays ago were $30. Don’t even ask me if I went.

It made me think, though: what rappers (there’s a decent list of other musicians) would I pay $30 to see? Now, when I say “pay $30 to see”; I mean pay $30 without question under solely my own volition. Therefore, going with a group of friends wouldn’t count. I’m pretty sure it’s a small list: if it weren’t, I’d be writing about the living wage and the middle class or about sisters being nerds. Yes, those are coming down the pike.

So, who would get 30 of my hard-earned dollars?

42 - Part I

Saw *42 this morning. I'm going to give a quick review here, so skip until the break if you plan on seeing it. It was a good movie, not great. The actors with the major roles were good (Nicole Beharie was an excellent casting choice), but minor characters had the best acting jobs. Guy who played Leo Durocher was great. Guy who played Ben Chapman was really good too. The script held things back from the film, though. I thought the movie was a bit soft, and most sportswriters whose reviews I read shared that sentiment.
 

FAMU Frustrations

I know what I’m going to say is going to test the bounds of political correctness, but I’ve reached the tipping point on this here subject so it’s time to let rip.

My school has gotten on my absolute nerves with its handling of the Robert Champion situation. I’ve seen so many wrong turns it’s not hard to imagine how the decision-makers could be so lost (figurative sense, of course). I don’t think they’ve gotten one thing right – and only two have been understandable – in this entire sordid affair. Now, I’m just saying all this as an outsider looking in…but since my name’s at the top of this, I’m going to say what I want.

Truth and Te'o

I’m a Miami fan, and I hate Notre Dame. I have no love for anything Notre Dame besides Skylar Diggins. I have surely had my fun from making jokes about this Manti Te’o situation. Even as someone who has been in a “catfish” situation, I laughed about it for almost an entire day.

Strange thing happened, though: I began to feel sorry for Te’o. Maybe it’s because I’m a Cancer. Maybe it’s the social work degree. It’s not because I’ve been in a “catfish” situation. Maybe I’m just more compassionate than I choose – or would like to believe – I am. There’s just something really wrong with this picture.
 

The Best Soundtrack of All Time

The question came across Twitter recently, and I figured my answer was worthy of an explanation.

“What is the best movie soundtrack of all time?”

Not sure if that was the exact wording, but it’s close enough.

You ask a lot of people, you’re going to get a lot of different answers. Some people will say Saturday Night Fever. Some will say The Bodyguard. Some will say Boomerang. Some will say Purple Rain. Some will say New Jersey Drive (with very good reason: it’s #2 to me). I thought Boyz N The Hood, CB4, and Poetic Justice all had their highlights. However, none of these soundtracks is at the top of the list.

Five Points of Light

Finally back...went home for the holidays, which threw off my schedule as I usually write at work. Anyway, let's get to it: this one is about five women whose presence in my life - whether past or present - I really appreciate. I'm not related to them, and I've never dated any of them (nor will I). Not going to name them or disclose any info about how I know them, as a couple of them might be embarrassed - although they may figure out who they are upon reading.

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I'm thoroughly convinced one of them doesn't know how great she is. Don't get me wrong: she knows she's great. She'd admit it if she absolutely had to. I think, though; if someone sat her down - and no, I'm not volunteering - and just went through her accomplishments, achievements, and attributes one by one...she'd probably be surprised at the realization of all the parts that make up a wonderful sum.

One of them, I'm pretty sure she knows...she won't tell you she knows, but she does. She doesn't say how great she is, but that's because she's too busy showing people. Whoever misses it, that's on them. She's consistent, but not boring. She's fun, but not silly. She's direct, but not confrontational. One of the best things about her greatness? The fact that she's so good at handling it.

One of them is definitely smart, driven, focused...but she's here because she's quite possibly the sweetest and most positive person I'll ever meet in life. If you ever have a conversation with her and don't leave with a smile, you need to re-evaluate some things. She's that ray of sunshine that never goes out. The world needs more people like her, but there could be a million and she'd still be special.

One is just amazing, in every sense of the word. How someone can be so "eclectically mesmerizing" is beyond me. She's actually a lot like one of the other women in here, but is different enough that she stands completely on her own. She's also different enough from me in that she's challenged me in a unique way and helped me find the best of myself - something for which I will be forever grateful.

One is simply a joy to be around. There isn't a positive adjective in the English language that doesn't apply to her. Much as I like the other four, she's probably the most personable - and probably puts a smile on my face first, ceteris paribus. She also has that 'je ne sais quoi' - I can't really say why she's in here as easily as I can with the others, I just know that she's here - and should be.

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One of the strange things I've noticed while writing this is that the descriptions are so interchangeable. Any of them could describe any of the women mentioned, at least loosely. None of them would ever be confused for each other (for a myriad of reasons), but they are all truly special people - and I feel honored that I know them all.

The Color Me Badd Appreciation Post

Recently, I have been subject to Color Me Badd libel - from multiple sources. This I cannot have without speaking. So, here is - well - me speaking.

The Day It Got Real

I woke up this morning, thinking it would be just a regular Monday. The only departures I saw were that it’s the last Monday before I go home for Christmas vacation and that work would be a little busier because everyone would try to get things done before the holiday. Well…let’s just say I wouldn’t be writing this if I were right.

Holiday Matters II

Ran down a couple things I don’t really care for when it comes to the holidays. In the interest of fairness, I think it’s a good idea if I talk about a few things I do care for as well.

My Five Favorite Sitcoms Of All Time

I’ve been known to watch a lot of TV, although now I watch mostly sports-related programming. I used to watch a lot of sitcoms, though. Here are my five favorites.

 

Holiday Matters

As we all know, the holiday season is fast approaching. Allow me a little bit of time (really, this one will be short) to talk about two fairly recent holiday traditions that I’m not too enthused about.

DM Etiquette

DM behavior seems to be all the rage on Twitter right now. I mentioned yesterday that I don’t partake in the exercise. Since I can’t fit the reasons in 140 characters, here we go.

The Greatest Homecoming Week Ever

(Ed. Note: I’ve noticed that I have a lot more ideas than I do actual entries...for instance, I thought up four and there’s no way I’m going to go once a week and get them all out in a timely manner. Because of that, I’ll say this: there will be at least one entry every week. If there are more, there just are. Thanks.)

So, last week might have been one of the best weeks ever. Matter of fact, I think the only real competition is my birthday week from last year – which I think I already wrote about. There were two things that made last week one to remember: everyone knows about one of them, and we all like it unless we’re Republicans.

This, of course, will be about the other thing.

FAMU’s homecoming was last week, and I decided Tuesday that I would live it up for the entire week since I fully expect to be a resident of another locale by the time next year’s festivities come around. I could do a chronological rundown, but that would be boring. Instead, I’m going to rank the days from “worst” to best.

Favorite Songs of the Millennium (by year)

After this week, I'll get back to a weekly posting schedule. For now, though; a "music Monday" offering...

First, I'm using the actual millennium and not what most people seem to recognize. In other words, I'm starting in 2001. Second, as is mentioned in the title; this is going to go by year. Best song in one year might not have made the top 5 in another year (2001, for example, had a lot of great songs). Now that that's out of the way, let's go.

Best Movie Ever?

I try my best to not get my hopes up when it comes to movies. I find it to be the best way to preserve my movie-watching experiences.

There are few things worse than paying 5-10 dollars for a movie ticket and then finding out that the movie is horrible, or even “less than expected”. I have a pretty good record on picking movies, so I don’t go through this often. The times I do get caught up seem to involve my people (Death At A Funeral, most of TP’s recent efforts, even Safe House to a certain extent), but that’s another matter.

I think it’s even more coincidence than comparative analysis that the movies I have lowered expectations for seem to be great.

Happy Birthday, Granny

Contrary to what most may believe, the majority of these things are not personal.

This one is.

Today would have been my paternal grandmother’s 100^th birthday. It’s not the easiest thing to talk about, but as many in my family know…talking about Granny since she passed never has been. Matter of fact, I’m going to put the over/under of “times I tear up writing this” at 3.5 - and I may only end up taking the under because I’m writing this at work. Anyway, it’s supposed to be that way. I’m supposed to feel like this. I’m supposed to feel terrible that I’m reduced to writing this note as opposed to being at home with my family. I’m supposed to feel bad that I can’t go to the northwest corner of 19^th and 31^st to put flowers on her grave.

Why am I supposed to feel this way? The reason is simple: I lost more than a grandmother on May 25, 1996. I lost something else too on that day - and so did many other people - but I didn’t realize it until later. First, a little bit on how losing a grandmother was more than enough.

I’m not going to say my grandmother was a perfect person. She certainly wasn’t the grandmother from one of these TV shows (okay, so she somewhat resembled Sophia from ‘The Golden Girls’) who did nothing but bake apple pies and never had a mean bone in her body. She would get with you if she needed to. Wouldn’t think twice about it, either. And woe be unto you if you had it coming from her, whether verbal or physical.

Here’s the thing, though: through all the whuppings - not spankings, whuppings- that she handed out, everyone loved her. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. Inside or outside my family, she may be one of a handful of people that I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about. Like I said before, she wasn’t that always-smiling stereotypical grandmother…but it didn’t matter. Everyone loved Granny, and everyone respected Granny.

I haven’t seen Soul Food in a long time, but if I remember the gist of the movie it mirrors my view of my family’s life. The other thing that Granny provided - and that we lost after she passed - was her ability to hold our family together. As most people reading this know, I have a rather large extended family. Group dynamics and simple odds dictate that one large group will eventually turn into multiple smaller groups. Granny kept that from happening. Looking back, I’m not sure how she did it. It’s not like she demanded that we have huge family gatherings every holiday, but we did. She didn’t say to go to this person’s house or that person’s house, but we did. We just found a way to stay together while she was with us…and then things changed.

In full disclosure, I may be magnifying this a bit because Granny’s passing coincided with the time I left for FAMU. Even then, things didn’t quite feel the same when I came home. The family gatherings were smaller. Some people didn’t come around as much. Some relatives only visited with each other. Things just didn’t seem the same. We were a lot more segmented. This has gotten closer to how it used to be, but it’s still not the same. Now it seems that some relatives have either given up or been ex-communicated from their seats at the proverbial table because of past actions or current habits.

In a family, everyone is obviously not going to agree with everything that everyone else does. I don’t agree with a lot of things my family members have done, and I’m sure that quite a few of them don’t agree with a lot of things I’ve done. However, I can’t think of one relative I have who I wouldn’t invite to a gathering and I’d like to think that no one would dissociate with me in such a manner - or at least not be upset if I showed up somewhere with some notice. Nowhere in any definition of ‘family’ have I seen that a single accord in action and belief is a prerequisite. I’ve also never seen where inviting someone to your home is a tacit statement that you condone every single one of their life choices (if that were the case, I’d be welcome in a lot fewer homes than I am now).

That’s what Granny got. She might not have agreed with everything you did…and there was a pretty good chance that she’d voice any disagreement she had…but she didn’t shut you out. That wasn’t in her nature. You’d get talked about like a dog - and if Granny talked about you that way, you most likely deserved it - but she was always happy to have you in her life, the same way everyone was (and still is) happy to have her in theirs.

As is often the case with the younger populace, I failed to appreciate everything that Granny had to offer. I’m not talking about the dollar or two that she gave me for my birthday or Christmas: I cherished those much more than the larger monetary gifts I got from others simply because they were from her. I failed to appreciate her wisdom, her experience, her loving heart, her ability to keep the family together…until it was too late. When I got to high school and especially when I started driving, my parents would ask me to go to her house…but I didn’t go nearly often enough. Sixteen years later, I still haven’t forgiven myself for those decisions. I’m not sure I ever will.

Maybe that guilt has something to do with why I still have a TV in my apartment that hasn’t worked all that well for a year and a half (it was given to me after she passed). Maybe it’s the appreciation that I have now that leaves me almost sick with myself for being able to do nothing more than write a lousy note to commemorate what would have been her 100^th birthday. Maybe that’s why I hold on so close to the memories that I do have. Maybe that’s why I’m on occurrence #6 - first full paragraph, in case anyone forgot. Maybe it’s a big part of the reason why I want to move back home, and why money matters less with each passing day. Maybe that’s why I tell everyone I can to spend every minute possible with their grandparents and older relatives, to seize the opportunities that I didn’t.

Or maybe that last paragraph has nothing to do with guilt. Maybe I’m just someone who loves and misses his grandmother. Maybe I wish I could hear her talk about working in a pizza parlor while hating pizza. Maybe I wish I could hear her call one of my cousins by a name that no one else ever dared use. Maybe I miss the way she always made me feel better while I was sick. Maybe I miss the mango tree in her yard. Maybe I miss Libra. Maybe I just miss having the chance to say…

…happy birthday, Granny.