Tuesday, October 30, 2012

No Friend Zones Over Here



So, there’s this thing called the “friend zone”. I’ll assume that y’all know what it is. If you don’t, I’ll assume you can figure it out from the context. I have figured out within the past year or so that (with one possible exception) I will never be in the friend zone…or have one myself. I don’t want to make this too long (quiet, regular readers), but we shall see.



Reasons I’ll Never Be In A Friend Zone

1. I’m not that patient.

Being in the friend zone requires patience. You have to wait out someone’s relationship and/or their feelings in order to get out of the friend zone. I simply do not have the time.

2. I’m not that friendly.

Once I know someone doesn’t have interest in me, my interest level declines very quickly. It just seems pointless, and anyone who knows me knows I believe in efficiency in almost every regard.

3. I will not be a simp.
No way, no how, not then, not now (points if you know what song that’s from)…what do I look like spending time – and let’s keep it real, money – on someone who isn’t interested? I couldn’t look myself in the mirror. Yes, that’s the main reason I haven’t talked to the inspiration behind the “Tis Better To Have Loved And Lost” entry.

4. I have enough female friends.

In the first few months of time after my last relationship ended, I found myself talking to a lot of women on the phone and/or on FB. There was no interest on either side in any situation, but I noticed that I became the shoulder to cry on a whole lot. I just started cutting that short, person by person. I now have one female friend I talk to on any kind of regular basis (and even she and I don’t talk as often as we used to), and life is grand.

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And now, the other side…

Reasons I’ll Never Have A Friend Zone

1. I’m a real jerk to women who are attracted to me if I don’t feel the same way.

I didn’t realize this until fairly recently, although I think the person who helped me realize this exacerbated the situation. I’d already figured out that I wasn’t into her, but already had committed to seeing her (and I don’t break commitments). Problem was that I’d failed to realize I’d also signed on for something after that due to the nature of said commitment. Long story short, I was miserable by the time the second outing was over…and she wasn’t, which made it even worse. I ended up not calling her for a couple weeks. I eventually did the right thing and apologized, but I haven’t called her again.

2. I’m just not “that guy”.

Let’s face it: for quite a few reasons – some of which were mentioned above – I’m just not going to be the one with the opportunity to put binders full of women in the friend zone. I don’t attract (m)any women. Don’t cry for me: it is what it is. I’ve accepted it.

3. I can’t do that to anyone.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m strongly guided by my principles and morals. There are certain things that I can’t allow myself to do: one of which is string women along. It’s not necessarily because I’ve been strung along (although I have), but just because I don’t think it’s right.

4. I’m too old for that nonsense.

If I don’t know you already (and my definition of “know” here is really loose), then there’s no point of me saying “hey, let me form a platonic friendship with this woman”. There just isn’t: between the women I already know, those I encounter, and those I see on the social networks; there’s no need for me to “add” anyone else. I’m cool: and as I mentioned previously, I seem to come across folks who want to put me in their drama – or put their drama on me. No thanks.

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So, yeah…friend zone and me? No haps. Oddly perfect that I end this with a Poison Clan reference.

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