V.A.N.S. - How They'll Get Us To Where We Want To Go (New & Original...Somewhat)

After starting and deleting this twice (which I pretty much never do), I finally figured out how I want this to go. So here we go.

We’re all vain. Whether we choose to admit it is a different matter altogether, but we’re all at least a little bit vain. How do I know this…or how can I assume it? We all have FB pages. We all read, write, and/or comment on blogs. Part of life, we just have to deal with it. Take a look at the social networking sites we use. We give our thoughts or say what we’re doing on Twitter. We tell where we’re thinking those thoughts or doing those things on Foursquare. We can take pictures of ourselves and post them on Flickr. Of course, Facebook is pretty much one-stop shopping.


 

We post, we like, we comment, we blog…because we want to be noticed to some extent. Now, the extent to which we want to be noticed varies greatly by situation. Now I’m not saying we’re all needy or looking for validation or anything like that: it’s not that crucial. At the same time, though, if we didn’t want anyone to know our thoughts (or actions) we’d keep them to ourselves. So we socially network and, to a degree, self-promote daily. Not a problem. I find the whole thing to be fun.

The funny thing about it is that we often don’t apply the same mindset to our communication outside the social networking experience - or even within - in one important way. At some point during the 1990s we allowed self-deprecation to become cool. I’m not saying the 90s to impugn the millennials, but those of us in Gen X know that such a thing would not have occurred in the Ronald Reagan me-first 80s. At any rate, we allowed ourselves to consider our greatness as something that deserved to be embraced only partially.

Of course you still had your instances of self-promotion (hip hop and professional wrestling come to mind), but as a society we sort-of mellowed and got into this practice of putting ourselves down. I’ll blame Jerry Seinfeld for this, as he used self-deprecating humor to become the biggest comedy star of the 90s. Yeah, Seinfeld works. He brought this mess upon us.

Comedians have this knack for serving as mirrors of the larger society in general. And self-deprecation didn’t stop with Seinfeld: Jon Stewart, Ricky Gervais, Daniel Tosh, Chelsea Handler…they’ve all used it pretty regularly. It works…for them. I’m not so sure it works all that well for the rest of us.

Some of…actually, scratch “some of”. The most attractive women I know are humble. I think that’s more of a coincidence than anything else, though. It does add a little something, I will admit. However, I don’t think it adds nearly as much as, say, a lack of humility takes away. Then again, those “lack of humility” people are usually trying to convince themselves or overcompensating.

Humble crosses the line when you allow it to slow you down on your path to greatness. Being too humble can limit the possibilities that you have of embracing your greatness. I don’t think this actually applies to anyone I know, but generally speaking it seems to be out there. It’s perfectly alright to think you’re great. It’s perfectly alright to say it. The problem comes when you try to appear greater than others. That’s just not kosher.

It’s all about moderation. A little vanity is great. Among other things, it keeps us sharp. We know what’s great about us if we’re vain (because we embrace those things) and we also know what’s not so great (because we think about improving those things). If my outfit isn’t right for where I’m going, being vain about it will get me into something more suitable. Hair doesn’t look right? Zero it out and try again. Don’t like the way I wrote a sentence? Backspace is my friend. Vanity can help push us in the right direction in many situations, and they don’t all concern looks.

Another thing: if we’re not vain, who else is going to look out for us like that? In this ‘Bowling Alone’ society we live in, there aren’t too many people who will have our best interests at heart or even be willing to say positive things about us. I won’t even open up the box of us not accepting compliments like we used to (just know that said box exists), I’ll just focus on the fact that people just don’t give compliments like they used to. Part of the reason for that is the box. Part of the reason is lack of opportunity. Part of the reason is insecurity. Point is, we sometimes have to pick ourselves up - no bootstraps: I’m a liberal - when no one else is willing or able. There’s nothing wrong with doing that. I honestly think it’s fun, especially if you do so in a silly way. As long as you’re not demeaning anyone, what’s the harm?

In closing, be vain. Vanity shall set us free. It will save the world in four minutes. It will allow us to be the best of ourselves - and by extension, each other if we all play along. And why wouldn’t we? Life is the greatest game going - and it’s even better when we fully realize that we’re already winning.