(Yes, this is the last of the archives...)
The actual title would have been “Why Kanye Was Right and Why Bill Cosby Should have Used the Jack Nicholson Line”, but FB and its character limits probably wouldn’t have gone for that. Also, I wanted to get another note in but time and circumstance have this one as the last of the month. I don't mind that at all, actually, since I like this one. Let's get to it.
If you haven’t heard by now, Kanye West made a certain tweet that has people buzzing. To paraphrase, he said that men should watch out for those women who want to have their children strictly for financial purposes. Okay, so he said it a lot more colorfully than that…but that’s what he really said. He told men to be safe, and there’s an uproar.
First of all, let’s examine the double-standard side of this - which is wrapped in sexism. The absolute last thing a woman ever wants to do is bring a broke man home to meet her parents (going off observations and accounts I’ve heard from others…past that, I think most of us can agree that this is a standard ideal anyway). If a man “Kimora”-ed his way to fame and fortune, women would have a field day with him. Look at Kevin Federline. Even Nick Cannon is a good example. First thing people jump to say is that Nick isn’t on Mariah’s level and that she stepped down. Same went for Jermaine and Janet, although looks played a part in that. No one says that when a male star marries the girl from around the way. To accept the societal norm is to believe that only women can “come up”. Clip that.
Kanye is trying to stop the one-sidedness of the come-up game. He is pushing for equality in ascension and advancement. Women protect their girls all the time from the same kind of traps that Kanye warned the homies about. I don’t see the scorn and vitriol on that side of the coin.
A lot of us have read at least one of the articles where the author asks if professional black women should “settle” for blue-collar brothers. Ever read the comment sections of any of those? To almost quote Katt Williams, not never in the history of black folk-dom have I seen an article asking whether professional brothers should date blue-collar (or salary-equivalent) sisters. Sisters look out for sisters all the time. Brothers look out for sisters - looking at you, Mr. Radio Show Host and Comedian. Brothers can’t look out for other brothers, though? Type of nonsense is that?
Second - and really, this should have been first - let’s get one thing out of the way. He’s right. He’s telling the truth. Those of you who’ve known me for a while know that I base a lot of my personal philosophy around logic and truth. I have a firm belief in the absolute nature of truth and its ability to build foundations from which we can all live satisfying and productive lives. I care much less about how the truth is delivered. It’s the truth, daggone it: it doesn’t matter how it’s delivered. You can sugar-coat stuff all you want: the message is still the same. May as well take out the filler. The truth is that a lot of women do try to trap men who are rich. The truth is that abortions are expensive (not sure about five-six figures, but whatever). The truth is that abortions are cheaper than 18 years of child support. I’m not saying that having children is bad: not in the least. I’m saying that filling your uterus to fill your wallet is.
Another thing: if he’s not talking about you, why should it matter? If I’m walking down the street and someone says “look at that crazy Republican”, I’m going to look around and see who that person is talking about. Same if the person says the person has long hair, is female, or has some other characteristic that plainly lets me know that said person is not talking about me. If you’re not talking about me, I’m not going to be offended past normal human compassion and my aforementioned affection for logic and truth. If you’re one of those people that thinks health care has already been repealed (there’s an article on HuffPost about this), I’m going to be irked and call you an idiot. Sorry. Anyway, the point is that you really shouldn’t be offended if it’s not about you. I seriously doubt that anyone who reads this - or anyone I know, for that matter - falls into the category of “people who should be offended by Kanye’s tweet”…actually, no one should be offended. If it doesn’t apply to you…well, that’s been covered. If it does, you have two real options: own it or change it.
I guess there’s another issue with the Kanye tweet: the Bill Cosby problem. He put our business out there in the street. So? Kanye and Bill cast a light on problems that black folk have but are too ashamed to admit. Once again, I take no umbrage with this whatsoever. Not that I go around calling women [garden tools], but if someone else does and they fit the description, I don’t see where there’s room to complain. We black folk have these strange double standards that hold us back. Only we can discuss our problems. Only we can represent our interests politically. Only we can use…y’all know what word. If we were the only people with the ability to solve our problems - particularly the ones Cosby discussed - wouldn’t we have solved them by now? What do we need: more time? More resources? Okay, the resource thing is valid…up to a point. Resources alone do not uplift people and make them valuable members of society. Look at Rick Scott. If we want to uplift ourselves (and everyone else), we have to understand that said upliftment takes a certain level of desire and effort. Part of that desire is the desire to hear the truth and part of that effort is to change it to what is a better truth for everyone.
No, I’m not saying that Kanye had the entire black race and our collective upliftment in mind when he typed in those 140 (or fewer) characters. I’m saying that the uproar over those characters is emblematic of a larger problem within the community. All too often we use double standards, secrecy, and hypocrisy to shield ourselves from our full potential. Kanye, in his own Kanye West way, is trying to put a stop to that. Bill Cosby is trying to put a stop to that. When I heard the Cosby speech from a few years back, I had the same questions that I do now about Mr. West. Where’s the fallacy? Isn’t what he said correct? Why are people so upset about this? To be a people that are supposedly so bent on being allowed to reach our full potential, we do a lot to stunt our own growth.
We get mad when colleges raise admissions standards, which is absolutely ludicrous. We got mad when basketball players were “forced” to wait a year after high school to go to the NBA. “Baseball players don’t have to wait”…play baseball, then. We get mad when people say certain words when we say them all the time. Now there are plenty of legitimate reasons for us to be upset with society: incarceration rates, gaps in income and wealth, profiling, gentrification, regressive pricing concerning food (especially fruits and vegetables), the digital divide…but we’re up in arms because Kevontravious can’t go to the NBA when he can barely spell it coming out of high school. What’s the rush anyway? Is he in that much of a hurry to get trapped by a gold digger? Just saying.
The fact of the matter is that we’re upset with Kanye West for the same reason that we were upset with Bill Cosby, and that we shouldn’t be upset with either of them. We should be upset with ourselves. They didn’t create the truth that we can’t handle. They exposed it. We should thank them. Kanye told the truth about George W. Bush five and a half years ago. We cheered him then. He tells the truth about us now and we chastise him. It’s not even that we’re mad at Kanye. We’re mad at the truth. Being mad at the truth is being mad at ourselves for creating that truth. As stated earlier, there are two ways to deal with inconvenient truth: own it or change it.
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