(Wow, I forgot that I started over with the numbering when I went to the first-name title. Ah well.)
So in my neverending quest to add wrinkles and get/stay ahead of the curve, here's the latest offering. It's basically the evolution of the Non-Football Thoughts notes that I've done before. As a matter of fact, the cool acronym stands for [ed. note: not so fast]. It's completely random rambling, so don't expect finished thoughts. It's just me flying off the handle about whatever. I originally planned to shoot on various subjects and release it Friday, but you'll see how I felt I had enough subject matter to go ahead and get it out now. Should run weekly. All that said, let's go.
1. The Destruction of R&B Music
I’m going to get one thing out of the way right now: NEO-SOUL DOES NOT COUNT AS R&B MUSIC. I’m going to get into why it doesn’t qualify later (probably next week) [ed. note: I never did get to that], but for now I’m going to address this main point. Off the top of my head, the only good R&B group I can think of that has formed in the last 15 years is 112. Jagged Edge had a couple songs, but they’ve never been anything more than JD’s cheap answer to 112. It goes back further than that, though: what really memorable R&B song has there been – and by memorable I don’t mean a song that you [insert word here] to. Without even going back to the classic days of Marvin and Al and James – back when R&B was soul music – look around at the music. It’s not even the same music that acts like Guy and Babyface and After 7 (yes, I know the connection) and Anita Baker and Stephanie Mills and Alexander O’Neal and…I could go on for quite a while. What R&B do these kids have to listen to now? Ne-Yo? Keyshia Cole? And people wonder what happened. R&B is trash now. That’s why the chart on Billboard is R&B/Hip Hop now. Rap has a separate chart to itself, but R&B couldn’t sustain its own chart. A man who dressed in drag 15 years ago has the #1 song on the Billboard R&B charts. Maybe Ru Paul has a shot for next week: and yes, I know Billboard isn’t the gold standard but it was easy to find. When you think about it, what’s the biggest compliment we give any current R&B artist? “Ooh, they remind me of/sound like (insert old-school artist here)”. Jaheim? Teddy Pendergrass. Ne-Yo? Trying his hardest to be a new-school Babyface. The Dream? Try convincing me Fast Car doesn’t sound like something Prince would have (or possibly did) make a long time ago…Little Red Corvette, perhaps? And do I even need to go into T-Pain and who made that gimmick cool? Didn’t think so. People talk all the time about the destruction of rap music. I offer a different idea: rap isn't really a lot worse now than it was a while back. Problem is there's no R&B to cancel it out. If men would sing about more than sex and a-a-a-a-a-alcohol and women would sing about more than being scorned and wanting money then maybe things would change. Now there are a few people who could have made it back then…Jennifer Hudson, for one. Voices like that can stand the test of time. Someone else had a chance with his showmanship, but he’s run into a huge problem. Let’s segue.
2. Chris Brown/Rihanna
First of all, whoever allowed him to open his mouth…actually, no. The first thing to say is that to know anything about me is to know that I absolutely abhor the idea of a man hitting a woman. I find it totally reprehensible and will not stand for it in any area of life. I don’t even joke about it. While I obviously can’t control the actions of others, I can’t see myself being friends with anyone who participates in that. Now, whoever allowed him to open his mouth and give that apology is a fool. Admitting to something when you haven’t even been charged – but everyone knows what you’re talking about – is plain stupid. That’s the case regardless of age. Don’t they teach the 5th Amendment in VA? Nation’s capital isn’t that far away. That said, we don’t know the situation. It’s pretty easy to connect some of the dots, but it’s entirely possible that we don’t know the whole situation. Again, not making any excuses for what he’s alleged to have done. Whole thing is just sad. Watch him make it through, though: watch. Maybe, though, just maybe, this whole thing saves one or more women from having to suffer the same fate that Rihanna suffered.
3. Nadia Sulaiman
This woman here…14 kids. Really. I agree that people should be able to do what they want, but come on. I heard on CNN that she was supposed to get some money and buy a house while her mother is facing foreclosure, partially because of her. She best get that reality show, because if she doesn’t she’s going to get a roughly equal amount of attention – none of it good, none of it profitable. In case she hasn’t heard, the country is in a recession.
4. Karla Martinez
Yeah, it’s that time…you know a woman is fine if I turn my TV to a channel in a language I no longer understand (like I used to) at 7 AM like clockwork (pardon the pun) to see someone – and to the men out there, she does not disappoint. Ever. There are a lot of good-looking women on TV – Reischea Canidate, Adriana Monsalve, Soledad O’Brien, Fredricka Whitfield, Richelle Carey, Colleen Dominguez, about 4-5 women on The Weather Channel, Danielle Knox (if she’s still on back home), and I know I’m leaving a few out – but no one (and I mean no one) looks like Karla. If you look for pictures, you’re wasting your time: just tune in to Univision at 7 (or 8 or 9 if you don’t want to get up that early). One thing I also noticed: the majority of the women named above are married (sigh). Isn’t that always the story?
5. The Young and the Restless
Yes, I watch it (blame the ex). Can I say that I’m glad that Cane finally knows Billy is the father of Cordelia? And who picked that as a name? Ugh. That was the worst storyline they’ve had in a long time. I am so glad it’s over. I’m also glad Ana has stopped singing for the time being. That was getting on my nerves, although I give Y&R a lot of leeway in the stereotype department since they always have black people as judges and doctors and holding other professional positions. I could complain about the Katherine thing, but it doesn’t bother me all that much. I admit I read ahead to find rumors of spoilers (in case I can’t watch the shows) but I won’t let anything out.
6. Top Flite
I wish I knew someone who could do the female part of Positive K’s “I Got A Man”. I do think about getting on stage sometimes (if I were forced to do a song I’d pick Hey Lover), but I know I’d either blow it up or look like a complete fool. I’d rather not take my chances with that, especially since I know fools would tape it – especially if I were stupid enough to give advance notice. Actually, though, I’d get up there if I knew all of the words to most of the songs I would do. I know most of the words except maybe a line or two for a lot of songs, but I’d rather not read the screen like some people do up there: I get up there, I’d just want to perform and act a fool.
7. Plies
I’m sorry, but dude is fu – nny. I swear, I have laughed at more of his lyrics from this past album than all the previous stuff combined. Spend The Night – even though I will dance to it – is pure comedy. I try to tune out Pants Hang Low when I hear it, so I can’t comment on that. And those of y’all who know me know I’m not saying that in some “yo, word to God, homey yo, cousin B son” type of backpack rap criticism. His stuff is just funny: entertainingly funny. If I had the chance, I’d just have to ask how he comes up with this stuff.
8. Soulja Boy
As long as I’m on the topic…y’all can get mad at me all you want to, but that Turn My Swag On is the song. I can’t think of any SB song I’d actually listen to twice (although I imagine not many people over 21 could) other than that one. Maybe Donk, but there would have to be an obvious visual/kinetic rationale for the exception.
9. Bobby Jindal
Moving from Mississippi to Louisiana, I want to see him turn down that stimulus money like he says he’s going to do. Then again, I suppose his star is big enough within the Republican Party that he can get away with any stand he takes without much retribution – even from his own constituents. It’s going to be hard to explain why the governor of a state still ravaged by the effects of Katrina turns down free money. Principle does not balance budgets, especially when it’s misguided: just ask George W. Bush.
10. Heath Ledger
I have to congratulate him on winning that Best Supporting Actor Oscar. Have to. Funny thing is I completely forgot/didn’t care about the awards and just happened to watch The Dark Knight (between American Gangster and Exit Wounds) yesterday. He deserved that award. He took that Joker role in a completely different direction. I hope the role didn’t really contribute to his death, as was rumored at the time. I also hate it for whoever plays that role in the next installment.
10. Black Men in Politics
Back to politics for a second. Alan Keyes is trying really hard to make black Republicans look bad, and he’s doing a bang-up job. Barack’s not an American citizen? Really? First of all, John McCain had his own issues with that. Second, didn’t Keyes have his own citizenship problems when he ran for Senate in 2004? In what state? Against who? Ssssshhhhh…as advanced as people say America is, there’s no way a flawed black man would have become president. That “twice as hard to get half as far” thing didn’t stop before the election. Speaking of, I think that Michael Steele’s victory is far more incredible than Barack’s was. Barack won the presidential election thanks to a carefully crafted campaign and a multicultural – note, multicultural…not just black – electorate. In comparison, Steele won an election after six rounds (thanks, Felicia) among an electorate that most would agree was far less inviting than Barack’s was. Seriously: he’s the chair of the RNC. And if you listen to him, he actually sounds sensible – especially for a Republican. He’s Exhibit A in the argument against those who stereotypes black Republicans as misguided fools who don’t know their history. He went to the Big Tavis Smiley Show (most of you call it the State of the Black Union Address) along with Akbar, West and other black scholars. Now I have no idea what’s going to happen with Steele and whether he can smash my secondary goal to pieces in the same way Barack did the first (no, I did not want to run: and I still have no desire to hold public office). As far as Barack goes, he looks a whole lot older than he did a month ago. That job is hard, and it is thankless: in many ways it’s like being a community organizer in Chicago was. He’ll need that toughness if he’s going to last 95 more months.
11. The Dream
Actually, (the guy who ended up running after my ex) wrote a really good note on this already. I’m just going to provide some evidence: my street still has not been paved with gold. It’s been three and a half months. Where’s my 24K sidewalk…wait, this is Tallahassee: where’s my parents’ 24K sidewalk? Disparities are still the same: health, income, wealth, education…yes, I know they’re not supposed to change in three and a half months. I also know you all know that they’re not supposed to change in three and a half months. What we may all want to do is tell/remind everyone else that they’re not supposed to change in three and a half months, help them change in the next three and a half years, and make them an afterthought in the next three and a half decades. If anyone thinks it’s impossible, remember this: once upon a time, we were thought to be athletically inferior. Laughable, isn’t it? Check back with me in 2044: hopefully we’ll be having that same laugh once again.
No comments:
Post a Comment