Reasons...Three Months Later

So, as most everyone knows; I decided three months ago that I was done with women/dating. In this time, I have thought about a few things and I am still as grounded as ever in my decision. I don’t think I ever gave expanded reasoning for it, other than outlining the events that led to it. I’ll go ahead and do that, under the guise of explaining why it is so easy to stick with it.

1. I’m not the guy that women go for.

Where else was I going to start? Now, I’m not going to self-deprecate so y’all can calm your nerves on that. I think I’m a pretty good guy, as discussed in the worth/value piece a while back. However, I’m not “that guy”. I’m never going to be the one that women run to - or, along the lines of this piece, no one’s going to ask me to/want to change my mind. I have not robbed humanity of any great reward. I think women are doing fine without me. Thankfully, the reverse is also true.

2. I stay in the house most of the time.

As any of you who are familiar with Tallahassee know, there aren’t many reasons to leave the house at night if you are over the age of 25. Tallahassee has very few social options if you are no longer a college student, and the few that it does have are incredibly boring for the most part. That leaves two options: be the old guy at the club (which I can get away with because only the doorman will ever know or believe I’m 33) or pal around at places where Marvin Sease is the man of the hour.

3. There simply are not that many attractive options.

Let me tell y’all why session is the greatest thing ever: it is the only time you have that many women of a certain caliber in the same place at the same time. This being the college town that it is, I’m a good 10 years older than 80% of the pool of women that I (would) find aesthetically talented, and I really can’t see myself dating anyone who was born after Ronald Reagan took office the second time. In all honesty, my strong hypothetical preference would be someone who was born before he took office the first time. Anyway, session has talented women by the bushel…and when sine die comes, they disappear. It’s saddening.

4. I have a strong memory, and it serves as a shield.

I’m not going to say that I’ve had the worst romantic experiences of all time. Some of them were pretty good. However, all have been undone by subsequent actions. That resulting hurt is not something that goes away easily. As Eddie Griffin once said, pain will give you a reminder of what not to do. He was talking about a different kind of pain, but I’ve had some feelings and some visits to the land of frustration that I’d rather not relive.

5. Outside of women/dating, my life has been nearly perfect for the last five years or so.

Do I have my dream job? No. Am I in my desired tax bracket? Please. However, I have grown exponentially as a person and enjoy being me as much as I ever have. I used to feel like I had to be me; and now I feel like I want to be me. Outside of a couple bad experiences with school and a situation at home, things have been spotless…outside of women/dating/relationships. I’m not necessarily blaming anyone or saying that I was perfect throughout the alluded-to ordeals. I just know how to identify patterns. The only times I’ve been down have been when something went wrong in the dating area.

6. I don’t live in South Florida.

If I lived at home, my life would be much different. My friends would absolutely not allow #2 to be true. I don’t even think my mom would go for it, although she’d rather me do things that ended before midnight. I’d be here or there watching a game or I’d be at some frat party (not quite like the ones here) or I’d be out at Hard Rock…maybe even South Beach if someone else felt like driving. I don’t think #3 would be true if I lived down there either.

7. I’m old.

I was born in 1978. My attractiveness is on a downward trend as my age goes up. Twenty-somethings are the most desired beings on the planet. I’m on the wrong side of that and I’m obviously not going to get any closer to it as time goes on. This is the biggest reason that I think this will stick: for some odd reason, a lot of women think there’s something wrong with a man who’s in his 30s and has no marriage or children to speak of.

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Throw all that together and it becomes clearer why this has been so easy for me. Add in some resolve - which most of you know I have - and you can see this lasting as long as I say it’s going to.