Rappers For 30

So, tickets for Yo Gotti (if you don’t know who he is, it’s not important – just know he’s a rapper) a few Saturdays ago were $30. Don’t even ask me if I went.

It made me think, though: what rappers (there’s a decent list of other musicians) would I pay $30 to see? Now, when I say “pay $30 to see”; I mean pay $30 without question under solely my own volition. Therefore, going with a group of friends wouldn’t count. I’m pretty sure it’s a small list: if it weren’t, I’d be writing about the living wage and the middle class or about sisters being nerds. Yes, those are coming down the pike.

So, who would get 30 of my hard-earned dollars?

Jay-Z*

Let me get the asterisk out of the way: he’d have to perform his pre-retirement stuff almost exclusively for me to be happy. He lost me after Minority Report and hasn’t regained me through anything from American Gangster to the LP with Kanye. I’m not here for the “I made it, I’m just doing this for fun – but I just happen to be a much better rapper than Will Smith” S-Dot. I’m here for the dude who threw up that Delta signal every chance he got.

OutKast*

I know, I know: another asterisk. Like Jay-Z, earlier stuff would be highly preferred. The asterisk, though; is that both of them would have to perform…together. Clip the “one person does one song, then the other does one” stuff from Speakerboxxx and The Love Below. I wouldn’t even want to hear that much from Stankonia. Really, give me all of Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik and about half of ATLiens and I’m straight.

Luke

This one’s clearly not lyric-based. I’ve gone to a couple Luke shows (I am from South Florida) and I know those produce $30 of entertainment. I don’t think I need to say anything else.

---

Okay: so far, I’ve noticed that no one meets the “unqualified” portion of what I was saying. Those three acts are the only ones I’d even consider (who are alive: BIG would be a definite yes). I wouldn’t consider the one rapper I did pay 30 to see (50…but that was All-Star Weekend 2003 in Atlanta – you know, when he was at his hottest), I wouldn’t consider my favorite rapper (T.I., whose free appearance last fall I passed on), I wouldn’t consider anyone from home, and I wouldn’t consider any old school rappers.

Wow: as much rap as I listen to, this is slightly unnerving. There are a bunch of people I’d pay $15-20 to see, but once I get past that there’d better be a really good reason for it. Okay, maybe not a bunch of people; but the list would grow exponentially.

I guess it just speaks to how disposable rap is right now. Note how I haven’t even mentioned the two most popular rappers of the moment the entire way. I’d have actually had a list ten years ago. All of the guys I named would have been on it. Lil Jon would have made it. The guy I went to see obviously would have made it. Couple classic guys would have, like Slick Rick. Shoot, Hammer would have made it: I went to a Hammer concert once and let me tell you, he puts on a show.

Since I’m pushing 600, let me just say it’s a terrible thing that kids are subject/forced to pay 30 for people they’d never heard of three years ago and likely won’t know three years from now.

Oh well: hope those kids had fun.