Dying Hard on Valentine's Day

I will spend Thursday evening alone. I’ve decided against taking myself out to dinner – I just think it’d be really awkward with all the couples there – but I am going to see A Good Day to Die Hard.

That title makes sense, given the day that it’s coming out. A lot of us – both men and women – are going to be alone because certain things die hard…if they die at all.

Por ejemplo (let my Spanish ride for a minute), yo. Mi problema? Yo no creo que en la idea del amor…para mi. The reason I don’t believe there’s anyone for me is that I’ve made my potential pool so small. I have a better chance of inventing my ideal mate than I do of finding her in a crowd. I have chosen to live with that. However, a lot of y’all have not.

Whole lot of y’all out here are 1) making your lists of desires extremely long, and 2) lamenting the fact that no one fits the entire plethora of items therein. He makes money, but he’s short. He’s tall, but he’s a starving artist. He’s too this, he’s not enough that. Some of y’all have more reasons to disqualify men than Earth, Wind, and Fire could ever imagine.

It’s perfectly fine to have a long list of desires and wants. Mine isn’t long, but it may as well be since it’s impossible to navigate. It’s your right to want what you want. Being a nice guy isn’t enough for you? Cool. Being a nice girl certainly isn’t enough for me…but I’ll be [messed up] if I’m going to feel sorry for people whose sadness is self-inflicted.

As I’ve mentioned before, every preference we have limits our dating pools even further. For instance, only one in seven men is at least six feet tall. That puts those of you who are chasing height in a huge quandary. Now add the (commonly heard) desires for him to be educated, God-fearing, rich (and generous), aesthetically pleasing, and so on.

There are two issues with this, one based in probability and one in economics. There aren’t but so many men who fit your long lists…and those men who fit will be in high demand – even if they’re already taken. Y’all may either end up being Olivia Pope or dealing with one. I imagine that wouldn’t be fun either way.

I’m not saying “lower your so-called standards which are really preferences” or anything like that. Please don’t. Your languishing over there being no “good” men while praying to the only one who would fit your description…actually, he wasn’t rich; so nevermind…is downright entertaining. Cracks me up.

Before you ask, I’m not scorned in the least and haven’t failed at jack. It just makes sense to stay on the sidelines. Why would I want to date anyone? I don’t believe in deficit spending. It’s gotten the country in trouble and I refuse to follow suit. Y’all do a wonderful…and quite thorough…job in explaining how dating is a considerable come-up for you and a charitable contribution for us.

I paid too much attention in my math, stats, and game theory classes too much for dating to be sensible. At any rate, two nights from now you can update your lists or watch reruns of Scandal or Grey’s. You can call up your girls and have a ladies’ night out. You can even go to the movies like I plan on doing (just not with me). You can do anything you want. It’s your right.

Just remember: Thursday is “a good day to die hard”.