As much as I like talking about other things, I decided to run to the well for this one. It was inspired by a Twitter conversation I had yesterday.
15. The DH (MLB/AL)
Maybe this makes me a purist, but I think pitchers should have to hit. The players' union will never go for abolishing the DH - it's far more likely that MLB goes with it in both leagues - but I think if pitchers had to stand in the batters' box we'd see less head-hunting. It's easy to throw at someone when there's no fear of retribution. I also think pitchers would become better hitters if they had to.
14. Leaving The Bench During A Fight (NBA)
I actually somewhat get this one, but I think it's unnecessary. There are more than enough cameras to see who instigates matters and all that, so that excuse doesn't fly. Baseball has bench-clearing brawls all the time and doesn't have the image problem that David Stern is afraid of. Do this for high school games. I'll understand that. NBA, though? No.
13. Instant Replay (MLB)
This one is obviously minor, given its place on this list. I just don't see a reason it can't be used on the bases, with all the cameras and all. Fair or foul, too (can't remember if it's used in such situations for non-homeruns, but I don't think it is). Balls and strikes will never happen, but bases and fair/foul can work.
12. Dress Code (NBA)
As someone who's been known to visit a club or two, I get the idea behind this. I just think it's a stupid one, and that there are many other factors that contribute to whether an absence of class or a likelihood of violence is present. This was obviously one of a few overreactive measures by Stern in the 2000s after people told him his league was being taken over by thugs.
11. The 'Process' Rule/Making A 'Football Move' (NFL)
People in Detroit may agree with me on this one (well, two: they're together because of their similarity). Since when does getting up constitute part of the process of catching a football? If someone has possession of the ball in bounds and all that, it's a catch. End of story. All this other nonsense is just that. Same with a 'football move' - what is that: a turn? No, that's a ballet move. Running upfield? Track. Getting up? Basic re-establishment of equilibrium. Football move...whatever.
---
Now, there's a huge gap between the previous five and the following (top) ten.
---
10. Offsides Penalties (Hockey, Soccer)
So what if someone's past the last defender? Big deal. That's why those sports have goaltenders. It also creates issues on the other side of the field, so there's a balance there.
9. Fouls On Jump Shots (Basketball)
I see this more often in the NBA, and it gets under my skin. I get you to jump in the air - straight up - jump into you, make a half-[hearted] attempt to shoot, and the foul's on you. Yes, that's dumb...and it's a big part of the reason I watch as little basketball as I do. Players are always looking for calls like they're working street corners at night. I'd like basketball more if they would quit looking to get bailed out and actually try to make plays - and no, getting someone to leave their feet is not a measure of offensive talent.
*Ah, memories...reminds me of the very first FB note I ever wrote.
8. Plays Being Dead When A Ballcarrier Falls Down (College Football)
Why? Just...why? This makes no sense. The defense gets lucky if someone slips? Seriously? How do those work on the stat sheets? Tackled by the Boogeyman?
7. All-Star Game Deciding Home-Field Advantage In The World Series (MLB)
Stern isn't the only one that overreacts. Bud Selig put this monstrosity of a rule in place in 2002 after that year's midsummer classic ended in a tie...in what was basically his home ballpark. Now anyone who watches MLB ASGs knows that the stars play in the beginning and the scrubs (relatively speaking) get in at the end. Who wants Andre Ethier and Aaron Crow deciding the location of a potential World Series Game 7? "This time it counts"...no, it really doesn't. Not with all the players who skip out and would rather have the days off. Most everyone hates it, except the guy in charge.
6. Running The Clock After First Downs (NFL)
This was actually much lower on the list until I remembered something - it affects games. Ever seen your team try to come back and get a winning score but have to wait for 60-year-old men to run up and place the football and chains so the next play can start? I think we all have at some point, and that's why this rule is here. Some officials are faster than others. Weather can affect these situations sometimes. There are too many variables involved in this process to have it possibly affect the outcomes of games (and possibly seasons).
5. The Instant Replay Challenge System (NFL)
So the refs get two calls wrong. You challenge and win them both. You get a third challenge, and that's it. Yes, it's unlikely that a team will go 3-3 on challenges. I get that. Same time, I think it's patently unfair that a team should be penalized (by having to use challenges) because the refs messed up. My solution? Simple: unlimited challenges until you lose. You go 0-1, too bad. It puts the onus on coaches to know what to challenge, but doesn't penalize them for challenging and winning.
4. The Tuck Rule (NFL)
This rule violates any and all measures of common sense. QB completes a throwing motion and if a defender knocks the ball out of his hand while it's back on his person, it's an incomplete pass. The epitome of dumb. Not even while he's in a throwing motion. People in Boston must love this rule. People in Oakland and St. Louis likely hate it. It just makes no sense at all.
3. Taunting/Celebration Rules (All)
This is partly here in anticipation. The NCAA has a rule starting this fall that pre-touchdown celebrations will result in the points being taken off the board. That alone is reason to earn the #3 spot. Taking away touchdowns because a guy flips into the endzone (the Reggie Bush flip was mentioned many a time when the rule was made) is beyond stupid. Besides that, celebrations are entertaining (unless done by Chad Of A Thousand Last Names). They're also extensions of the adrenaline rushes that we demand of our athletes. If you want robots to play football, get robots. Fans cheer and get excited after TDs: why can't players? Same goes for homeruns and slam dunks.
2. Pass Interference Being a 15-Yard Penalty (College Football)
Anyone who knows me knows I hate this rule. Always have. So a college defender should just mug a WR at the 15-yard mark just so he doesn't get burned. I promise I wouldn't ever let Justin Blackmon catch a ball. Fifteen yards, bump the WR out of bounds (makes him ineligible) or put him on the ground. It creates the easiest copout for DBs. Make it a spot foul.
---
Now, #1 has three different but related rules. They all deserve their own mention. These things utterly disgust me in ways that nothing else does.
1. The 'Intentional Foursome'
1D. Throwing The Ball Away (Football)
This includes spiking the ball to stop the clock, but the predominant instance when the QB chucks the ball into the third row either to avoid a sack or because he simply can't find anyone open. Make a play. Tuck and run, do something. I don't want to hear that "they were willing to give up on the play, so that's a credit to the defense" nonsense either. You're robbing the defense of a potentially greater play - and doing the same to the offense. If I want to see people give up, I'll watch chess. Everyone in the stadium and everyone at home knows it's intentional grounding in every way but the letter of the actual written rule. Call it that.
1C. Holding (Boxing)
Plain and simple: if you can't defend yourself, take the whooping or throw in the towel. All this hugging, like it's a family reunion or something. If I want to see hugs, I'll go to the airport (I'll let that sink in for those who don't get it right away). If I want holds, I'll watch (real) wrestling. Penalize a point for every hold and see how quickly it stops.
1B. Intentional Walks (Baseball)
If you saw the Marlins/Mariners game a couple weeks ago, you know why they throw the pitches anyway (this I didn't get for the longest time). That being said, the intentional walk is the baseball equivalent of writing "I'm a punk" on your forehead. Two-thirds of the time you're going to get the guy out anyway. Pitch to him! (Believe it or not, this doesn't have that much to do with me being a Bonds fan.) I've seen guys get intentionally walked in the first inning, I've seen guys get intentionally walked with the bases loaded, I've seen guys get intentionally walked in straight blowouts. "There's a 2/3 possibility that I'm going to get you out anyway, but I'm going to eschew that just because I'm that scared of you". Help these managers. Award a base to all runners and two to the batter if the bases are empty.
1A. Fouling At The End Of Games (Basketball)
This was the original #1 (the others came as I was typing). I hate nothing more in all of sports than I hate this. Everyone in the building knows these fouls are intentional, including the refs. All they do is prolong games - and before anyone says it works some miniscule percentage of the time, I'll say that said miniscule percentage is not significantly different than that in which a team would win a game under similar circumstances without fouling. This doesn't happen as much in the NBA - see, I can give them credit - but it happens all the time in college basketball. The last two minutes of college basketball games take forever because of this nonsense. Accept your L like a competitor and move on. Until then, give the other team two shots and the ball - as is the case with all intentional fouls.
No comments:
Post a Comment